smacky and bucky

We stopped at some random mall over the weekend, in a town we never stop. Must have been fate. I finally located my Get Fuzzy page-a-day calendar at the Borders Express. For a dollar. True, I had to tear off nearly two months, but that gave me the excuse to read a bunch without the guilt of reading ahead.

Is it freakish that I now have THREE page-a-day calendars on my desk at work? (Get Fuzzy, George Carlin, Beaches of the World) My desk is an "L" so I am able to put two of them on one side and one on the other. At least they're not all in a row.

I decided to weed out the stuff in our house. I listed eight items for sale on Amazon last night, and sold five of them before we went to bed. Now I'm fighting the urge to wander from room to room grabbing items to sell.

Meanwhile in buying news, I was happy to pick this book up yesterday with a 30% off coupon:


It's a collection of noir short stories, all set in D.C., edited by George Pelecanos. I discovered it's part of a noir series, with each book set in a different city. There's also Brooklyn Noir, San Fancisco Noir, Chicago Noir, Baltimore Noir, and (branching out a bit) Dublin Noir.





Since I haven't done this in a while, here are the first 25 songs my iPod played this morning on shuffle (out of 4,333 songs):

Tracey Thorn (of Everything But the Girl fame): Seascape, from her pre-EBTG solo album A distant Shore.
Big Country: Troubled Man, from Rarities III.
Syd Barrett: Effervescing Elephant, from The Best of Syd Barrett.
The Libertines: The Saga, from The Libertines.
Yo La Tengo: The Summer, from Prisoners of Love (GREAT SONG!)
Johnny Cash: Home of the Blues, from Heart of a Legend.
Prefab Sprout: If You Don't Love Me, from 38 Carat Collection.
Simply Red: Money's Too Tight to Mention, from Greatest Hits.
Jimmy Buffett: Hey Good Lookin', from License to Chill.
Curtis Mayfield: The Got Dang Song, from New World Order.
Duran Duran : Ordinary World, from Live in London.
Johnny Cash: I Walk the Line, from Heart of a Legend (iPod is into Johnny this morning!)
Siouxsie and the Banshees: Peek-A-Book, from Twice Upon a Time: The Singles.
Altered Images: Bring Me Closer, from The Best of Altered Images.
Elvis Costello: I Hope You're Happy Now, from Girls, Girls, Girls.
Robbie Williams: Karma Killer, from The Ego Has Landed.
Jimmy Buffett: Kick it in Second Wind, from Havana Daydreamin' (iPod likes Jimmy this morning too!)
Let's Active: Make Up With Me, from Cyprus.
Madeleine Peyroux: This is Heaven to Me, from Careless Love.
Jefferson Starship: Play On Love, from Gold
Bic Rugna: Without You, from Drive.
Pink Floyd: The Gold's in the..., from Obscured By Clouds.
Elvis Presley: Don't Be Cruel, from 30 #1 Hits.
Jim Croce: Six Days on the Road, from Home Recordings.
Puffy AmiYumi: Long Beach Nightmare, from NICE.

Bonus Song:
The Cardigans: Your New Cuckoo, from First Band on the Moon.

Felt like I had chills last night, so I made a cup af decaf and got in the tub (after filling it with water. Don't imagine I was just sitting in an empty tub with my clothes on, okay?). I finished the first Dark Tower book, and feel like I got through the exposition. Now on to the story. Read 150 pages of the second book immediately after. The story really picks up in book two. Kate: Yes, I recommend started them again if you get the notion. The first one is a little plodding, but hey, at least he broke the story into seven books, instead of three dense ones (Tolkien, I'm looking at you.) And Lauren, the books aren't horror. The story is basically a knight's quest, with the knight played by a cowboy from an alternate universe, or possibly our world in the future, like in Planet of the Apes. In other words, not scary. More action/adventure/fantasy.

I've been watching King of Vegas on Spike TV on Tuesday nights. Masters of different casino games come together and play all the games (craps, blackjack, roulette, etc.), so the odds favor different players on each game. Unlike World Series of Poker, this show is full of trash talkers. They chose a good mix of people to play. Each week another person is eliminated (by losing all their money is sudden death at Texas Hold 'Em). The ultimate winner gets a million dollars.

Where does one go to get a watch battery installed? Certainly not Radio Shack, but unless there's some ancient watch place around here, I can't think of who would do it. Do they even sell watch batteries anymore? Or has our society reached the point where we throw watches away when the battery dies, like we do with most TVs and microwaves, when it's more expensive to fix than to buy a new one.

After I got out of the tub, I made another cup of decaf. I don't know if the label lied, but I was awake most of the night, not with job stress, or illness. I was just wired, and I think it was on caffeine.

I hope De, after getting a taste of the underpantsless lifestyle, came to his senses and put some on after the weekend. I worry about these things.

There's been a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon.

Three-day weekend. Damn, it was fun. Woke up this morning to pouring snow. Took lots of pics. Less than an inch total, and the sun came out this afternoon, but it was pretty coming down on the water.

Watched Sin City on DVD (Got the new deluxe version as a gift on Friday). I'll have an opinion after I watch the longer version on the DVD and see how it compares.

Almost finished the first Dark Tower book. I keep getting sidetracked and it's tough to find time to read. Already have the second one on hand.

Out in the country I heard a song on the local station and it inspired me to purchase the Best of Glen Campbell from iTunes. Drunk in Public punchline aside, he has a lot of great songs. Rhinestone Cowboy, Galveston, Wichita Lineman, Southern Nights (the lyric under the above photo is from this one)... His hits reached the top of the country and the pop charts at the same time.

Heading out of town after work for a three-day weekend. Looking forward to relaxing, reading, watching movies, playing the poker game on playstation.

Getting my haircut tomorrow by an ancient man that chain smokes while he cuts your hair. Rather amazing feat, really. He does a great job, and he's cheap, so I put up with it and take a deep breath before entering.

I've been listening to the live CD by Phoenix, a band from France that sings all in English. Strange. Good stuff though.

Thoughts on last night's Lost (All can read, but probably only Monstee cares:)

• Loved the backstory tonight. The CIA forced Sayid to learn how to torture people. Awesome.
• Kate's dad a soldier in the unit that captured Sayid. Nice connection.
• That guy is totally an "other." And for the exact reason Sayid gave. He'd remember the details of burying his wife. Especially with no shovel.
• The look the guy gave Sayid before Jack closed the door. It was almost a small smile of triumph. I could be reading into it, of course, but I'll bet the guy faked his way into the camp. Now something bad has to happen to someone to prove Jack wrong and Sayid right. Maybe someone has to die...
• The mystery of why Hurley isn't losing weight is solved! Ranch dressing! Hurley: Room temperature doesn't mean covered with a blanket in the jungle!
• Sawyer and the frog! Damn! Guess he's holding the course of being a dick begun in the last episode.
• Timer hitting zero. Red symbols appearing! Sounded like the blast doors were starting to close! But Locke was still able to reset. Not sure how I feel about that.
• Sayid's last line to Charlie and the look he gave him. "Did you forget?" Sayid is definitely hinting that he knows Charlie had something to do with hiding the guns. And he may also suspect Charlie attacked Sun. Or had a hand in it. And Sayid doesn't really care. He just wants the weapons.

Lego Suicides: My sister-in-law sent me this link. I can't decide which pic I like best.

If the promo is not completely misleading, tonight on Lost the timer will reach ZERO. If it does happen, I'm sure it will be right before the credits roll, leaving me hanging for another week.

Three-day weekend coming up, which will be fantastic.

Did I mention the book I'm working on now is about DINOSAURS? How cool is that? I'm getting paid for reading about dinosaurs. (The dinosaur name in the title of today's post should be in italics, but blogger doesn't want to do it. So there you go.)

So the White House deferred to Cheney over the "incident." I imagine the call went something like this:

George: Hello?

Dick: Hi George...

George: Dick, buddy! What's up? How's your weekend?

Dick: I shot a man, George...

George: Aw man, not again! Can we keep it quiet?

Dick: This isn't like last time, George. This was an accident. We can let people know about it.

George: Oh, okay. Cool... So, anything else?

Dick: No, that's it for this weekend.

George: Awesome.
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Last night my wife and I celebrated Valentine's Day. We avoided all the crowds that will inevitably be out tonight, and had a nice quiet meal at a nice restaurant. No one tells us when to celebrate our love!

I got her a memory card and a WiFi card for her fancy phone, and she got me a combination VCR/DVD recorder/player, allowing me to transfer all my old tapes to DVD. Sweet.
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Laura says I must have the most enjoyable TV watching experiences. With no short-term memory, I can watch reruns of CSI, and unless the episode was particularly gruesome, or a major plot advancement in character development occurred, it's like I've never seen it before. I happily watch, not recalling if I'd seen it, or who committed the crime, or how it will end. She's the exact opposite, and can see two seconds of the show and remember every detail of it. I guess I truly turn my mind off when I get home from work.
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I picked up volumes 1 and 2 of the Dark Tower series by Stephen King last night. I've never read it before, and now that he's completed the story (in seven volumes), I decided to jump into it. It should keep me occupied the next few months.

Yes, we got about 8 inches of snow. Pretty, but it was so warm before it started that the roads were easy to scrape, and we're at work on time this morning.

Now that that's out of the way... What did you do this weekend? If you were Vice President Cheney, you provided yet another piece of evidence that the Bush administration is following The Sopranos as their business plan. While hunting over the weekend, Cheney shot a man. Just winged him, apparently. Sending him a message perhaps? So a 65-year-old man shot a 78-year-old man.

Here's a few pics. While not from the event, they help you imagine what it must have been like:

Iran cartoon contest...

TEHRAN: Iran's largest selling newspaper yesterday announced it was holding a contest on cartoons of the Holocaust in response to the caricatures uproar. "It will be an international cartoon contest about the Holocaust," said Farid Mortazavi, the graphics editor for Hamshahri newspaper - which is published by Tehran's conservative municipality. He said the plan was to turn the tables on the assertion that newspapers can print offensive material in the name of freedom of expression. Gulf Daily News, Bahrain - Feb 6, 2006

Well, it's more mature than burning down an embassy, or dying in a riot. But Iran's leader said recently the Holocaust didn't happen... so (in their minds) they're holding a contest to see who can best mock a fictional event.


The forecast for Saturday is snow. We're debating whether or not to go to the river. If we stay, we'll watch dejectedly as we get less than an inch. If we go, we'll get 10 inches here and a layer of ice down there. Not the most pleasant driving conditions on Sunday. "Decisions, decisions...Ha! Pay me!" (Quote from the game of Life commercial, circa when I was an impressionable kid.)

I'm thinking too much about last night's episode of Lost to post anything that won't bore the pants off you. Which in some cases would be good, but I don't need to see Monstee's hairy blue ass, so I'll just stop for the day.

(Google image search is my friend,
but this person isn't. S/he is merely a prop.)

I don't get much spam e-mail. My security level filters out much of it. What I can't filter, however, are spam messages from my own family.

Examples:

A cousin sends me stupid forwards I usually delete without opening. Today he sent a list of Tennessee jokes. (Why single out Tennessee??) Here's the first one, dedicated to Kate, the only person I know in Tennessee:

The owner of a business in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from UT and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Haha, right?

The second one I got was from my aunt, and it said, VERY IMPORTANT WARNING!
This is not a joke! Please Be Extremely Careful especially if using internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on. This information arrived this morning direct from both Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet.You may receive an apparently harmless email with a Power Point presentation "Life is beautiful."If you receive it DO NOT OPEN THE FILE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, and delete it immediately. If you open this file, a message will appear on your screen saying: "It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful." Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC and the person who sent it to you will gain access to your name, e-mail and password.

Wow, that's a hell of a virus, huh? Except it doesn't exist. Two seconds looking at www.snopes.com confirms it. Snopes also gave links to McAfee and Symantec with their notices it was a hoax. I copied all the information and hit reply all (She had sent it to about 50 people. Damn!) I added the line "So no worries with this one!" so I wouldn't seem like a complete dick. But at least the McAfee text had said don't forward the message because that's why hoaxes exist. I thought she was more savvy than that. Her husbands worked with computers since the 1970s.

Spam beats phone calls, I'll admit that. But no one in my family ever called and said "Someone told me about this virus that takes your computer and walks it out to the criminal's car and..."

I received an iTunes gift card for Christmas, put the credit on my account, and pretty much forgot about it. Last night I logged in to update my podcast subscriptions, and noticed the credit, so I decided to browse the store. I ended up downloading songs from my past.

What they were, and what they once meant to me:

Fleetwood Mac: Gold Dust Woman. Fantastic song. Between Stevie Nicks's growl and the slide guitar from Lindsey Buckingham, there's a real undercurrent of bitterness that they probably felt toward each other when they did this song (they were breaking up during the recording of the album). If you've ever broken up with anyone and wished them ill will, this is the soundtrack to that feeling.

Shawn Colvin: Witchita Skyline. I listened to this song a lot in Africa. The melody and the lyrics speak of loneliness and isolation, both of which I felt in waves now and again over there.

Crosby, Stills, and Nash: Just a Song Before I Go. First girlfriend freshman year of college. Lesson learned: Long distance relationships suck!

David Bowie: The Man Who Sold the World. Like the version by Nirvana? This one is better.

The Eels: Mr. E's Beautiful Blues. "Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day."

J. Geils Band: Angel in Blue. From the album Freeze Frame, which had the title track and Centerfold, but this song was my favorite. Sixteen years old, driving around in a 1966 Chevy Malibu at night listening to this song. Four great lines: "We met in a bar out on Chesapeake Bay," "When I whispered 'I thought I could love her,' she just said 'Baby, don't even bother to try,'" "All her friends did her favors that were really just loans," and "And she never had dreams, so they never came true." (I keep adding to the number of lines I like from this song. Just read the lyrics to the entire song here so I can stop!)

10cc: The Things We Do for Love. This song doesn't mean to me what a love song like this should, mainly because I was a tiny tot when it was a hit on the radio. I just hear this song and remember singing along at age four or five. How could you not sing along to this song, even today?

Elliott Smith: Needle in the Hay. First song I ever heard by Elliot Smith, and I had to track down the CD after I heard it. His double-tracked vocals on the repeated line, "Needle in the hay" is chilling. About a year later I heard it in the movie The Royal Tenenbaums. The song plays as Luke Wilson's character stares in the bathroom mirror and says "I'm going to kill myself." Elliott Smith of course later stabbed himself to death.

Tears for Fears: Pale Shelter. From their angst filled album The Hurting. This was their first album, the one released before Songs From the Big Chair made them American Megastars. This one is better, and fits the angtsy mood of a middle school-aged Smacky, who didn't realize it was actually going to get worse before it got better. Just wait until high school, sucker. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

311: All Mixed Up. Wow, after all the gloom and doom, how about something peppy? 1996. Smacky (Bob Dole syndrome, much?) is in grad school, getting an MA in English. Averaging a paper every two weeks for over a year, working as a research assistant for two professors, building up to the thesis defense. Bring it on. This song--their entire "blue" album--kept me up and kept me going. The repeated line, "keep me coming, that is the gal that will kill them stunning," I always thought they were singing "e. e. cummings, that is the gal that'll keep me sunning." Guess I was hearing authors' names everywhere that year.

When you exit the elevator in my building at work, there is a small seating area. On the table is a selection of our most recent books. Last week I noticed that one of the books I put out, my newest, was gone. Different groups have conferences on our floor, so many people come through. I put out another copy on Friday, and this morning I noticed that the book I set out Friday is the only one gone. (A group used our conference room over the weekend.) I hope sales figures confirm the status of my book as "Most likely to tempt you to steal it."

Why does a Danish artist draw a cartoon and an American embassy get burned? We get blamed for things we don't even do. There's plenty of reasons to be mad at us, but we didn't draw that. Also, a person died in the protests of this cartoon. DIED. If I saw a cartoon of Jesus doing something freaky, I wouldn't die to protest it. (All right, I wouldn't protest it at all. I'd probably mutter "Hmmm, that's gonna piss off some Christians," and turn the page. Actually, I doubt I'd even see it, since I don't read the opinion column in the paper. Or even buy a paper. Shrug.)

Set your Tivo, set your clocks, get to a TV this Friday at 8pm. Yep, it's true. Fox is burning off their remaining episodes of Arrested Development on February 10 with a 2-hour marathon. At least they're showing them. Lots of Fox shows come out on DVD with text on the box saying, "Includes [5, 8, 12] never aired episodes!" Because Fox has an itchy trigger finger. Sad to say that Skating with the Stars probably gets five times the audience of Arrested Development. Sigh. (And yep, I recycled this from a comment in Lauren's blog. So what? "I'm Danny Tanniger, caddy manager. Yeah that rhymes, wanna fight about it?")

I think I forgot to mention this, but it's official: My new DVD player will play anything from anywhere. I ordered the PAL version of Flash Gordon from amazon.co.uk. It's the deluxe version in a tin case, with two commentaries: one from the director, and one from Brian Blessed, who is an absolute hoot to listen to, as he has genuine affection for the movie, the cast, and everything about it. He even says his trademark line from the movie: "Gordon's ALIVE?!?" Cost including overseas shipping was $16. Rock on. Now I can order DVDs from anywhere, with no fear about compatibility issues.

My wife just purchased a phone that should be voted most likely to gain sentience and take over the world. Let's call it Skynet. That way, I can just take a quote from Terminator 2 to describe it:

Terminator: The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

Sarah Connor: Skynet fights back.

Terminator: Yes. It launches its missiles against the targets in Russia.

John Connor: Why attack Russia? Aren't they our friends now?

Terminator: Because Skynet knows the Russian counter-attack will eliminate its enemies over here.

The phone has wireless internet, a camera, MP3 player, every Microsoft program (including Excel, Word, and PowerPoint), and a grazillion (my new word) other things. It might actually let you make and receive calls too. I'm not sure about that, though.

I still have a hand-me-down phone she gave me two upgrades ago. It has chew marks on it where her mother's dog got a hold of it. But since I use a cell phone maybe twice a month, I have no desire for a new one.

We both geek out over things, but not always the same things. Keeps it interesting. In the meantime, I'm keeping an eye on that phone. For the sake of us all...

"The better I do my job, the less likely that anyone will notice I've done it at all."

This is a line from a column in the February 1 issue of Publishers Weekly. The piece goes on to say, "No one reads a moving novel or riveting exposé and remarks, 'What brilliant editing.'"

That's the interesting nature of my job (and Kate's). People only notice when we screw up. Sure, the publication may win an award, but it isn't exclusively for the editing, although it's the editing that helped get it nominated, you can be sure of that. I also sometimes contribute to the writing of the publication, including the introduction, back cover copy, or a phrase or two that turns a clumsy paragraph into a clear one. And for all this, the credit goes to the author.

It suits me. As much as a dread meeting strangers and making small talk at parties, a job that rewards invisibility is just what I enjoy.

I am confident that I found my calling.