smacky and bucky

Day 8 of 11-day vacation! I haven't exactly been busy, just too unmotivated to write, and not excited by the prospect of dealing with the slow country dial-up. I got a digital camera for Christmas, and I've been taking a lot of photos, but the dial-up times out before I can upload any to the blog. Oh well.

I've read magazines and books, watched movies and TV shows on DVD, played games (video and board), and just relaxed. It's been since last Christmas when we had this many days off in a row. It's been very therapeutic for Laura to be away from work. She's been cooking up a storm, trying out new recipes.

We've had a great time hanging out with her sisters and their husbands (or boyfriends, depending on which sister you are referring).

We've all been healthy and relatively happy this year, with only the minor annoyances of everyday life. Here's to the end of 2005, and the beginning of 2006.

Last day of work for 2005! I had thought all my spring books were either with the authors for revision or already with production. But yesterday my boss asked if I could handle another manuscript, so I have something else to do. It's just proof that I rock so much at my job that I can take on another project. Bring it on! I welcome you, book about genetics. Let's dance.

OH! Great news (great for me, anyway)! I tore the house apart looking for the extra VW key, and after an hour, I was completely out of ideas. I was starting to think, "maybe I should check inside all my shoes..." when it occurred to me to check my computer backpack. The one with the 12 pouches. The pouches I never look in. The pouches that hold: a magazine from 1991 about Twin Peaks, a roll of mints, two cough drops, a wireless mouse, two CDs, a Tetris game, and... THE VW KEYS! Yes, I said keys, plural. When I bought the car (Carmax), they promised it would come with two keys, but they had misplaced one. So they gave me a voucher to have the dealership code a new key for me. After this was complete, I was lifting up the front seats to put something in the back, and resting in the track of the passenger seat was the extra key they had lost. Since the code had been changed, the key won't operate the car anymore, but I kept it because it costs $150, and I may need to have it coded someday; you never know. Yay! I'm slightly less paranoid now!

Laura gave me an early Christmas present last night, since I was so nice to loan my car to her sister (I saved my hardcore whining for the blog): Crystal Lake Memories--The Complete History of Friday the 13th. I'm not a manic fan of the series, but I certainly enjoy the movies, and Tom Savani did the effects on a few of them, so I wanted this book for some time. It's a HUGE book, definitely coffee table size, though probably not appropriate for the coffee table. Tons of pictures, interviews with everyone involved, including Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover. I'm looking forward to settling down with a cup of eggnog by the Christmas tree and reading.

Well, I'll be taking my laptop to the river, but it's still the land of dial-up (it's the country), so my posts will be a little sporadic. I'll definitely have stories to share though.

Health and happiness to everyone. I feel like giving out some hugs. Guess I'd better wait until after work! Did I mention that 90% of the office took the day off today, and I've been alone here for an hour? Echo-co-co-co-co... Yep, still alone. Peace!

One more day, one more day...

Is it wrong that I'm not thrilled about the idea of loaning my car to my sister-in-law? She's flying in from Portland sometime in the next few days, and will be using my car to get to the river. I'm probably only annoyed because my wife offered her my car without asking me. That, and I haven't found my extra key since we moved. I suspect it's still in a box somewhere, but I can't imagine where it could be. So that key is all I have, and I'm paranoid about losing it. Okay, that, and I had to empty the trunk of the assorted lawn equipment I've been hauling around since summer (when I was mowing two lawns a week).

Sigh.

Sorry De had a crap party (read his post and you'll get the joke!). Ours turned out to be fun. Christmas music, catered food, and alcohol (beer and liquor) to get people feeling festive. Then they broke out the games. Actual games. They said they wanted to take you back to your childhood, so they pulled out Sorry!, Trouble, Operation, Connect Four, Candyland, and Hungry, Hungry Hippos. The four people at our table tried Trouble, but quickly grew tired of it. You have to pop a six to get onto the board or you lose a turn. We switched to tag-team Connect Four. Looking around the room, it was awesome to see adults playing all these games designed for children. They spent SO much time reading the rules! It was a brilliant example of how adults always overthink things. We won most of the Connect Four games because the two people we were playing against analyzed each move like it was chess. It worked against them. They usually failed to see the obvious spot we were about to take to win because they were strategizing... trying to think too far ahead... which is the antithesis of these kids' games. Also, during Trouble, the girl in the marketing department expressed such glee at sending me back to start that I had flashbacks to being 5 and playing these games (I think she did too. She was really excited about sending that piece to "start over").

Yes, even as adults, we sat with our closest coworkers/friends, just like middle school. The IT guys sat together, finance department sat together, editors sat together. There are still dozens of people in my office I only know by face. But we all had a good time.

At the end of the party we received "gender neutral" gifts. I got a tin of Godiva hot chocolate.

And, just before the party, the bluelines arrived for my last fall book (running a few months behind there, not my fault!) and they were beautiful. Signed off on them and boom! My fall season finally came to an end. And on the last day of fall! How perfect is that??? (except that, ideally, the book would have come out in late September, but hey...).

Oh, and Kate: Your comment about my "shapely behind" made me blush. (Thankfully, those are my added quotemarks and not hers!)

So close to being ready for Christmas vacation it's scary.

After work yesterday. I watched one of the Christmas presents I received from my parents: Original Gangstas, with Fred Williamson, Jim Brown, Pam Grier, Isabel Sandford, Richard Roundtree, and Ron O'Neal. Damn, what a cast! "The Hammer," "Slaughter," "Foxy Brown," "Louise Jefferson," "Shaft," and "Superfly" (respectively). WOW!

A good time was had by all (I and the cats enjoyed the film). Oh, and this film was on my wishlist. It's not the sort of thing my mother would see in the store and think "I'll bet my son would like that!"

Today is our office Christmas party, from noon to three. I'm so glad our office isn't like The Office.

This weekend flew by like a bird on cocaine. We woke up early Saturday morning and hit the road, traveling the 3 1/2 hours to Lynchburg. Two nice discoveries along the way: (1) The speed limit on route 29 is now 60 MPH after Charlottesville. (2) They finally completed the Madison Heights bypass. Madison Heights isn't a town. It's a collection of stores, spreading out on either side of the road. As a new store opens, they install a new stoplight. It's obscene. There must be 25-30 stoplights in a 3 mile span. Well, the bypass begins 5 miles before you reach that place, and does a huge arc all the say around (thus, it's called a "bypass"). Smooth, almost nobody on it, and a speed limit of 65 MPH. Glorious. It actually shaved at least 20 minutes off the trip each way.

Got to see all my family Saturday night, including grandparents, sister and her family, and a great aunt and uncle. Ate too much.

Sunday we had to return relatively early because my wife had a business party to attend, and I had to come along as arm candy. Oh, this was a floating party, in that it took place on the cruise ship Odyssey. It's one of those things you see but would never do on your own, so now we can scratch it off the list. She got to mingle with clients, and I got an open bar. Seeing Georgetown from the water with a Bass Ale in my hand was a pretty nice topper to the weekend.

You know how just before you get on the boat someone takes your picture, then tries to sell it to you when the cruise is over? Well, the invitation to this company's party included a voucher for the photo, so at the end we got a goofy picture of ourselves for free. I'm hoping Laura will display it in her office next to the one I purchased of myself when I went on the riverboat cruise when I was in New Orleans on a business trip. Exact same deal: Stand next to the life preserver with the ship's name on it and smile. Only since this was a business trip, I went on this cruise alone. It was couple, couple, couple, couple, couple, couple, me, couple, couple, couple, couple, couple, couple, couple, couple... When I saw the picture I just laughed. Designed to be a romantic memento of your cruise, the photo of me standing alone and smiling was too silly. Of course I bought it, autographed it, and gave it to Laura framed as a gift. It was utterly stupid. It had to be done. If you thought the idea of going to a movie alone sounded stragne, imagine a riverboat cruise. But they had good margaritas on the ship, and we visited a Civil War fort, so it wasn't without its interest for solo me.

Getting a little sidetracked here. My main wrap-up point is this: After 7 hours of driving over the weekend, and a lot of rich food, we came home last night and zonked out. I slept an hour later than usual this morning, which I never do. Not even on the weekends. Of course we have flex time, so I still got here hours before everyone else.

Yesterday I discovered a link to the Entertainment book, the one you buy for $40 that has two-for-one meal coupons for tons of local restaurants. The link allowed me to create a log-in and print coupons without having to purchase the book. The only catch is that they expire at the end of December. I suppose it's like a store having a private sale, and then on the last day they let the general public in. We went to Front Page, where I had the Thursday night special: ribs, fries, cole slaw and a Sam Adams. With the coupon, my meal cost 95 cents.

Today is "free book" day at our office. Publishers from all over send books as samples, to get reviews, for publicity, etc. The books fill up a large room, and those books are given away twice a year. Since I get in at 7 each morning, I help set up the room. As payment, I'm allowed to make a pass at the books when we're done (and three hours before the rest of the office). I usually find a few good books for me, and a few books for presents to other people in the family. Today was no different, and with Christmas in a week, the timing was great. I didn't see your book, Kate. When do we get a free copy of that one?

Now I have a few more gifts to wrap tonight. Tomorrow morning we're heading to my hometown to do Christmas a week early with all my family. Then one more week of work, and then off from the 24th through January 3rd. Whooo!

I wasn't the conquering hero I was hoping to be yesterday. I was able to diagnose the problem, however, and confirm that it won't be an expensive repair. In human terms: The patient has a torn ligament (bad belt on machine), which caused the bone to slip out of alignment (tub now put of alignment until cotter pins reinserted. The heart, however, is still in good shape (motor isn't bad). I was the kind of doctor that looks at you, then refers you to a specialist (made an appointment with Sears repair department).

So... I'm not sure what level of success I achieved. Couldn't fix it myself, but did figure out the problem. I had the washer tilted back, and was laying under it with my elbow holding it up so it wouldn't crush me, small flashlight in my mouth so I could see what was under there. Word of warning: There are many, many sharp edges under a washing machine. The sides and top may be sleek and rounded, but I believe they made up for it by making everything under the machine sharp and pointy. I cut three fingers on my right hand, in three different incidents of rubbing against something razor-sharp. For me, when it comes to home repair projects, if you're not bleeding, you're not trying hard enough.

Another frustrating thing maybe someone can help me with: My Norton antivirus is set to expire in early January, so I purchased the downloadable upgrade. It's now sitting on my desktop. But every time I click "install" I get this error: "Error occurred communicating with server. Please ensure you have an active Internet connection and your proxy settings (if any) are correctly specified."

I checked their support site, and they have five different things to try. A few of them specifically mention Internet Explorer, but I now use Firefox. Could that be the problem? I don't have a proxy server at home. I am SO at the mercy of technology when it starts screwing up, so any help is appreciated!

Today's my day to shine! At 3:15 today, I'll be at our other house, pretending I know what I'm doing as I look at the washer. Internet research confirms there are only about three things that can be wrong, but two of them require purchasing parts, so I might still be making a service call. Wish me luck!

I wish I'd packed some saggy pants so I could show off my butt crack. That might have added an air of authenticity to the whole thing.

Well, the couple haven't emailed back, so I don't know what's up. Did they figure it out themselves, or are they waiting until later in the week to ask me to come over? I'd like to get it over with, so I'm hoping for a response sometime soon. Maybe I'll just use my key and break in... naaaaaaaaah.

We received Sky High from Netflix, so I watched it last night (Laura passed). It was very funny. Cast included Kurt Russell, Bruce Campbell, Lynda Carter, and two of the Kids in the Hall, which made the geek in me very happy. The movie actually had intelligent dialogue that I know went over a lot of kids' heads, so it was nice that the writers considered adults when they wrote the script. In one scene, the school nurse (played by Cloris Leachman) is talking to a student concerned that his super powers haven't kicked in yet (puberty metaphor?). She tells him,

"The kids who are bitten by radioactive insects, or fall in a vat of toxic waste, get their powers as soon as the very next day.

Or... they die..."

Nice Spider-man reference.

(Today's entry title "Sidekick!" comes from the movie as well. Bruce Campbell plays Coach Boomer. On the first day of school he assesses each kid's power and assigns which track he or she will follow: Hero or Sidekick (the sidekick teacher prefers to call it "Hero Support.")

Good for a rental.

Borders sent me a 30% off coupon, and I'm thinking of picking this book up after work. Never hurts to be prepared, and you know DC will be a prime target when the robot revolution begins.

Ugh. So, since we're renting our other house, we're landlords. Yuck. When Laura was renting her condo back when we were dating, I had to go over there and install mirrored closet doors. The tenant, a female college student, was there with another female friend, and the doors had to be installed in her bedroom. Crouching for an hour in her bedroom getting the door track installed made me feel like Mr. Roper. I could hear them in the other room murmuring. Probably wondering what in the hell was taking me so long. I was also annoyed she had left panties on the floor. Was this a trap? Ackbar!

The point of that flashback is this: We received an email from the couple renting our house last night. The clothes washer "stopped working" mid-cycle. Also, they "can't get the baseboard heat in the bedroom to turn on."

I'm hoping that I, an editor going over there with no tools beyond the screwdriver in my car, can figure out both problems and save having to call two different repairmen. I'm hoping that this couple is completely inept, and I can point out that the thermostat needs to be turned ON before it will work, and the washer was overloaded with three blankets and cut off because it was out of balance.

For once, I'm hoping two people in my life turn out to be morons. Because otherwise, I'm going to look like a monkey trying to figure out how to get the banana using simple tools. And then we'll still need to call two repair people.

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Like De, we watched Fantastic 4 over the weekend. I actually really enjoyed it! They stayed mostly true to the comic history, even including some of the pranks Johnny Storm played on Ben Grimm (if that scene seemed lame, you probably didn't read the comic growing up. They devoted an entire issue once to Johnny pranking on Ben).

I even liked how Victor von Doom got his powers, and liked his powers, even if they did stray from the comic. In the comic (in the original history in the '60s, at least) Doom burned his face putting that mask on when it was still hot. Lame!

The action wasn't obvious CGI, and I liked the characters.

I'll go on record now and risk committing geek blasphemy: Fantastic 4 was more enjoyable than Batman Begins. Maybe it's because I'm no longer a tortured teen with a tortured soul, and I now relate more to group dynamics than the lone weirdo in the shadows (who still has to give away his identity to Katie Holmes! Damn!). Maybe it's because I sat through all the other Batman movies, and didn't particularly love any of them. (Michael Keaton as Batman? Fat Jack Nicholson as the Joker? And that one is largely considered the best of all the previous Batman films!)

I think ultimately, it came down to two factors for me:
(1) Batman Begins had big-name actors. Actors that were too big name. Each time one of them popped up, it pulled me out of the movie and I thought "Oh, it's that guy." On the other side, Fantastic 4 had good actors that were only vaguely recognizable (unless you're a major fan of the FX network).

and

(2) Batman has had a long history in films. I'm familiar with his story, and I know he's mostly going to be a joyless man fighting in the shadows. I was ready for a team story. I also really like (and have always liked) that the Fantastic 4 don't have secret identities. That don't usually have to deal with all that crap about "He's a vigilante, working outside the law! He must be stopped." Since the Fantastic 4 are a team, they can watch each others' backs. They can survive without secret identities. Compare that to Spider-man. Every time a villain figures out his true identity, Aunt May or Mary Jane get kidnapped! Bruce Wayne's mansion gets destroyed by folks that figured out his secret identity.

All right. I'll just add one more thing: Fantastic 4 movie toys were cool. Batman Begins movie toys were lame. (Another advantage of a team. How many versions of Batman can you create? Only one or two will be movie-accurate. The rest will take "creative license.")


Geeking over for the day (maybe the week!).

We ended up getting about 1.5 inches total, snow, then sleet, then freezing rain, then rain, then nothing. The Federal Government was on a two-hour late schedule, so I came in at 9, still being one of the only ones on my floor. I suppose everyone that comes in at 9 will instead come in at 11. It's actually sunny now. Completely clear skies.

Just a few more gifts to wrap, then I'll be ready for Christmas.

My wife just called and said she's decided to work from home.


Lucky.

I never feel more like a little kid than when my wife drags me out gift shopping followed by a long trip to the grocery store. Three hours total spent shopping for random items, and I was ready to lay down in the aisle and start weeping. There's a definite reason she goes to the grocery store alone. I don't have the patience to do it.

It's also at times like that, deep in the bowels of Harris Teeter, that the words from my past come to mind. Numerous teachers in high school wrote "Needs to use class time more effectively" on my report cards. Likewise, an employer once called me into her office and said "You're very good at what you like to do, and not so good at what you don't like to do."

But then we hit the beer aisle and the voices shut up and let me pick a beer.

I picked up volume 2 of Clone Wars last night. I had managed to miss every episode when they aired on Cartoon Network, so it was a completely fresh story to me. This season is better than the last. The First volume consisted of 3-minute "episodes" of action scenes. Episode after episode of fighting, some following the clone troopers, some following different jedi. They were entertaining, but didn't have a lot of plot (and some of them had no dialogue). Watched all at one time, volume 2 is a mini-movie that nicely bridges Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. It also covers important events Lucas couldn't be bothered to include in the movies, such as Annakin reaching the full rank of Jedi, the introduction of General Grievous (and how he got that annoying cough), the abduction of Palpatine, and why most of the jedi were in the "outer rim" when the attack on Courresant went down. In a neat touch, the cartoon ends right where Revenge of the Sith begins: Annakin and Obi Wan flying into battle to rescue Palpatine. I'd say this volume is better than at least one of the three prequel movies, and possibly better than two of them. It depends on how generous I feel toward Attack of the Clones.

Laura also gave me an early Christmas gift: The newest Family Guy box set. No reason for her to give it to me weeks early, she said she just felt like it. What a sweetie. We watched the episode where Lois becomes a kleptomaniac, and, in a scene recalling The Fugitive, she's in the sewer being pursued by cop-neighbor Joe. He's dangling off a waterfall and Lois is trying to pull him up. He tries to encourage her, saying, "Imagine I'm one of your kids." She immediately starts to let go, and he screams, "Not Meg! Not Meg!" Funny, funny stuff.

Tree's up! Here's a close up of one of the ornaments. Who does it belong to? Me or the wife?

Such excitement! Oh, no, not in my life. I'm just following the routine until Christmas is upon us. I'm talking about these folks:

• De wants to kill people on the radio, while drinking chocolate butch.
• Lauren makes me want to quote that old ad for women's cigarettes: "You've come a long way, baby."
• Kate was almost run over by the truck from Maximum Overdrive, and didn't even get the courtesy of a cameo from Emilio Estevez.
• Monstee, like De, has media rage. He (it?) wants to kill the ad agency execs that created the Coke commercial with the penguins and polar bears bonding over the Beach Boys and artificially colored sugar water.

We ended up getting about three inches of snow. Pretty, but not dangerous, unless you were determined to make it so (driving 30 on the highway, for example). Then the hazard was you, and not the weather.

Arrested Development was another classic last night. I'm hoping against hope Fox (or some other network) will save the show somehow. Hilarious but low-rated is a bitch position to be in. I'd like to see the DVD sales justify keeping it on the air, maybe at least long enough to get enough episodes for a syndication deal? That has to be on some execs' minds. Keep it on long enough to make some money back on it someday.

Tree is decorated. I'll get a pic from the wife and post it here. Chance of snow today into tomorrow too... anywhere from 2 to 6 inches, but only sticking to the grass. Still doesn't mean they won't wipe out the grocery stores.

I left my iPod at home today. Idiot move. I'm browsing radio stations on BBC now.

So, what is everyone asking for for Christmas? I know it's the season of giving and all that, but I'm just curious about what YOU want. Anything big? Anything obscure? I'll start: There's a Jackie Chan movie called The Myth that came out last year in Asia. Jackie still pretty much alternates a movie for Western audiences with a movie for Eastern audiences. The styles are quite different too. Jackie is allowed to be more serious and dramatic over there, while he still has to be the goofy jester here (Tuxedo, anyone?). Anyway, I requested a 3 DVD edition of the movie from hkflix.com.

That would be the most obscure item I asked for. You?

This weekend we'll be decorating our Christmas tree. This usually means Laura telling me the Star Wars and superhero ornaments look better on the side of the tree facing the wall. I think maybe she's just trying to hide them!

She's been really stressed at work. Meanwhile, I'm editing a book on dinosaur fossils and really enjoying it. When work entails reading about things I would have chosen to read about in my free time away from the office, it's a pretty sweet deal.

It's going to be attack of the early 30-somethings at the river this Christmas. Laura's 3 sisters are all officially paired with men, 2 married and 1 cohabitating. All of them are coming to visit sometime over the holiday, bringing their men with them. So many holidays being outnumbered at least 4 to 1 women to men, and it's starting to even out. We should be able to get some good poker games going. It will be a nice change from Laura's mom, who never bluffs. When she bets big, we all fold, because she has a fantastic hand. She NEVER bluffs. Doesn't understand the concept. She may as well play with her cards face-up on the table.

Holy crap, it's December 1! Time to submit for vacation time. I've drawn up my battle plan with the calendar, and I believe I'll take a total of 5 days, but with holidays and weekends, it will come to 11 days off. Yes.

New month, new iPod playlist! First 12 songs on random play:

A Smile in a Whisper by Fairground Attraction
99 Red Balloons by Nena
Roller Derby Queen by Jim Croce
Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band (forgive me)
New York City by They Might Be Giants
Empty by The Cranberries
I Couldn't Love You More by Sade
Nights on Broadway by Bee Gees
The Show Must Go On by Queen
Don't Talk to Me About Love by Altered Images
Joining a Fan Club by Puffy AmiYumi
Another Day by Sophie Ellis-Bextor

What kind of mood was I in when I put this playlist together?

I promise I used to enjoy harder music. In college I listened to Zepplin, Hendrix, NIN, etc. I'm leaning toward more poppy music nowadays for a variety of possible reasons: (a) Maybe I'm suffering loud music hearing loss, (b) Maybe I'm getting horribly old and I don't understand what the kids listen to today, with their rap-metal bands of angry white guys who can't spell (Limp Bizkit? WTF?!?), (c) Maybe I'm not impressed by bands today (e.g. the Killers, the Strokes, the Darkness) because I already know the music of the bands that they're emulating (Buzzcocks, Ramones, Queen), or (d) Maybe I've just become totally lame.