I was having a conversation this morning with one of my sisters-in-law about variety shows. She pointed me to this clip of Lynda Carter singing "I Was Made for Loving You" with back-up dancers dressed as KISS.

We started to brainstorm how a variety show would work today and came up with the following:

(1) Get ADULT stars. Not necessarily the old stars from the old variety shows, but stars old enough to remember watching the originals. Don't Disney it up with too many teens.

(2) Give a nod to the old shows, but don't copy them completely. They were corny then, but you can be corny in a way that isn't painful.

(3) Get a crazy mix of stars and musicians for variety. It's a VARIETY show. Have Morgan Freeman do a sketch with Sally Struthers. Have Morrisey perform a cover of a song by Van Halen.

(4) The host: This is the biggest single choice in creating the successful variety show. If people don't like the host, they'll never watch, regardless of who else is on. You need someone talented, who can act, sing, and ad-lib. But not someone too Broadway (No Alan Cumming or Nathan Lane). No one TOO big though, and no one who is known for "causes," so no Clooney, Pitt, Jolie, etc. But on the other end of the spectrum, no one too goofy, so no Jack Black, Robin Williams (puke), or anyone known for "blue collar comedy."

Hmm... I'm going to have to think about this. Who could host a variety show today? I'm thinking a female, most likely (but let's avoid the tabloid queens for now, so no Britney, Paris, or the freckled one whose name I can't recall).

This was the first weekend since the beginning of July (I believe) that L. and I were alone all weekend, with no other family around. True, she had to work late Friday, and that resulted in both of us missing dinner (long story) but after that rocky start, the rest of the weekend was great.

Saturday I suggested a restaurant we both like and had lunch and browsed around a while. We brought steak home for all the pets, so they were happy to see us. We watched a few movies together, and Saturday evening she suggested Clyde's, where we had gone for my birthday a few weeks earlier. The waitress said it's the last week they'll have lobster on the menu, so I had to get one, of course.

Sunday I got up early and went to the drugstore. While there, I noticed two things: It suddenly became autumn, and there is a big Sunday farmer's market in the park next to the drugstore. I stopped by the ATM and headed home to get L. We returned to the farmer's market and picked up lots of amazing fresh food: radishes the size of baseballs, sweet potatoes (they had one literally the size of a football, but I imagined it would take about three hours to cook it, so we passed on that), fresh salad greens, three different loaves of bread (cheese, sweet potato, and sourdough), pumpkin dip, and what was probably the last harvest of garden tomatoes (from a garden, not a hothouse). The tomatoes were amazing. When you get a real tomato, not one that has been treated until it tastes like wax, you realize how they are supposed to taste.

We watched a couple of movies and for dinner she made a spaghetti sauce from scratch and toasted slices of the sourdough and melted garlic butter on it.

Okay, I'll admit, one of the best things about her being back is the food (as this posts mentions endlessly). Yay, she's back and in a cooking mood! Last night's dinner topped anything I ate while I was alone over the last four months.

Last night I was in the basement around 8:30, transferring laundry from the washer to the dryer, when I heard rapid footsteps from upstairs. Too heavy to be one of the cats, who I had last seen sleeping on our bed.

I bolted upstairs and my dog met me in the kitchen and attempted to tackle me. If Lexi is here, then that means... and in walks the wife with her suitcase!

At her mother's last check-up, the doctor told her she was okay to get back to her regular schedule, so Laura could finally come home! The last time the wife and the dog were here was in early October for a weekend. For the majority of the last FOUR months, I only saw them on weekends. But now they're back for good! Yay!

Forgot to tell this story:

Over the weekend, the wife and I were in a hardware store and I purchased a machete. It has a sharp edge on one side and a saw blade on the other. It came with a black canvas sheath. When we got home, we had this exchange:

Wife: "Why did you buy that?"

Me: "It will pay for itself."

Wife: "When?"

Me: "After I kill the first zombie."

Just an eye roll from her, but my father-in-law burst out laughing.

Kid Rock was arrested after being in a fight at a Waffle House Sunday morning in DeKalb County, Georgia. Kid Rock currently has the number one record in the country, by the way, proving you're never too big to get in a fight with a redneck in the parking lot.

It had to be a Waffle House, didn't it? Nothing says "rednecks beating each other up in the parking lot" quite like Waffle House. It couldn't have happened at an IHOP or a Denny's. You know, I'm not sure Waffle House even advertises. Ever seen an ad for Waffle House in your life? It's just the place with the marigold-yellow sign you see from the highway.

If Waffle House was smart, they'd hire Kid Rock today to do some Waffle House commercials.

Watched the second film of what was Grindhouse in theaters: Planet Terror. It was, again, okay. Not scary, and with even less characterization than in the average straight-up zombie flick. But it was good cheesy fun.

Let me ask you something: Does knowing some fact about the persons involved in the film change your perspective on the film, or affect your enjoyment of it? For example:

* Can you laugh at the antics of OJ Simpson in the Police Squad movies now?

* In the Royal Tannenbaums, Luke Wilson's character looks in the mirror and says "I'm going to kill myself," and proceeds to attempt suicide. The music playing is Elliot Smith's "Needle in the Hay." Does knowing that Elliot Smith stabbed himself to death, or that Luke Wilson's brother Owen attempted suicide recently, affect your reaction to the scene? Scene below, by the way:



The point of my question is this: I read that Robert Rodriguez left his wife and five children for Rose McGowan, star of his movie Planet Terror. Granted, Rose is pretty (though it's sad she bought into that "must be anorexic to be an actress in Hollywood" bullshit, because she was MUCH prettier a few years ago before she became all ribs and collarbones. Seriously, women of Hollywood, eat something!) and you could argue that there was probably something wrong with the Rodriguez marriage already for him to walk out like that, unless Rose has an enchanted vagina and he fell under a spell...

Where was I? Oh yeah: While I liked the movie fine and didn't think about the piece of gossip I had heard just before watching it, I definitely thought about it when I started watching the extras. It's really hard to watch Rodriguez praise the acting ability of Rose McGowan for five minutes when I know she's his girlfriend. Or to watch Rose praise Rodriguez as a director when I know they're a couple. It makes them seem less sincere, I guess.

What do you think?

L recommended a band in a recent post, which reminded me to mention a band I've discovered. The Postmarks are a trio out of Miami, but they definitely do not sound like a product of that area. They are poppy, with ringing guitars that remind you of the Smiths or Ocean Blue, and a female lead singer whose voice recalls Mazzy Star a bit, but more happy and much less mopey. Check out their website HERE. Scroll to the bottom of the "What's Happening" column and you can download my favorite song of theirs FREE. It's called "Goodbye" and the lyrics are the text of a note left for a former lover to find in the morning. But the singer feels liberated by getting away, not sad. It's an awesome tune and prompted me to go to Amazon and purchase their CD. If you're super lazy, or the cynical type and you're thinking to yourself, "Sure, whatever, Smacky. It probably sucks..." first of all, shame on you for not believing me! Second, you can hear the song immediately on their MySpace page. Tell me the song isn't perfect pop. And De, she's cute too. Give 'em a listen and tell me what you think.

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I watched 28 Weeks Later last night, which is about living people infected with a virus nicknamed "rage" so it technically isn't a zombie movie (which is why I put "zombies" in quotes in the post title, but the people have the zombie-like urge to EAT YOU, so it's mostly a zombie movie. It was pretty good, considering it was basically a rehash of the first movie, with a few twists to keep it interesting. The only real actor that struck a note with me was the guy from The Full Monty.

Labels: music, zombies

Last night I convinced L to let me give her a few of her birthday presents early. Her birthday is on Thursday, but she'll be at her mom's watching her (leaving today), and I'll be three hours away doing the normal weekday at work thing, so take a gift early, right? It's lame to get them ALL late.
Among the things I gave her last night (maybe 30% of the total gifts), the most unexpected was the sock monkey. I'm a sucker for monkeys, and sock monkeys just call out to me, so I grabbed him when I saw him. Who can resist a sock monkey (I mean, unless it smells like cat urine or something)? The monkey has a heart with the letter M on his chest, so he needs a name beginning with that letter. I'm thinking "Martin" but feel free to share other suggestions.

I also got her a book of Christmas cookie recipes. She loves to cook and bake, and she has lots of time at the river between phone conferences for work and checking on her mom, so she can make some cookies. Wow, I promise it only seems like everything I got her was really for me! I also got her a knitting book, a DVD set of a TV series (only) she likes, and fancy candy I'd never eat, so there! I'm not completely selfish. Let's call it 20% and leave it at that.

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In completely unrelated news, I've decided not to watch Heroes this season. I'm several weeks behind now and don't feel like catching up. I'll watch on DVD later.

When I don't post for a while (which is rare, you know. I usually post even when I have nothing to say, while is lame but keeps me focused) it usually means one of two things: (1) I'm being a moody baby or (2) I'm too busy doing something else.

This time it was #2. Wednesday night we flew to Savannah, Georgia for a family reunion of wife's father's side of her family, which took place from Thursday to Sunday at a big beach house on Tybee Island, Georgia. The weather was beautiful. It was warm enough to swim in the ocean. Wife got her fill of family time for at least a year (if not longer). We had great seafood.

Here's a strange fact: One cousin we met for the first time (his mother and my wife's grandmother were sisters) has a daughter named Alice. And I was in the Peace Corps with his daughter Alice, which means I knew my wife's cousin before she did. It also means I knew my wife's cousin before I knew my wife!

The odds the I'd ever meet the family of another Peace Corps member stateside is pretty slim. There were only 50 of us in our group over there, out of nearly 10,000 volunteers worldwide. Factor in the odds of one of those other 49 volunteers being the cousin of my future wife, and it just gets spooky. We have to be talking a one in several million chance.

I'll give the final tally of birthday gifts after this weekend, as we're going to celebrate my birthday (the 9th) and my wife's (the 18th) with her mother this weekend. I can tell you some of the DVDs I've received but haven't gotten the chance to watch yet: Complete Space Ghost, Complete Droopy collection, first season of Hawaii 50, 28 Weeks Later, and Escape from LA. There are other titles I can't recall at the moment. Yes, I'm spoiled.

I have many new DVDs to watch.
I have many new books to read.
I added new CDs to my iPod.
I had oysters and lobster for dinner.
I finally got to spend time with my wife.
I had an awesome birthday.

Oh, finishing a load of laundry in our basement, I turned around and took a quick pic with my phone:

Spider-man and his slightly slower twin are working their way up the water heater, thanks to magnets in their hands and feet (most appropriate use of magnets ever!).

Yeah, so weekend details. Wife called Friday around noon and said her company had an emergency job so she'd be coming up here, so I didn't have to go anywhere. I stopped by her office around 6pm to bring everyone pizza and pick up the dog. I didn't see L. again until she got home at 4:30 in the morning. They sent the completed video to their client for review, and L. slept until about 11. Then had to go back into the office and worked until 11pm Saturday!

We decided to go to a nice lunch Sunday, and on the way I mentioned I had seen a flyer for a comic book and pop culture convention in Dunn Loring, which was about a mile from the restaurant we had chosen. She said sure and I dragged her along. It wasn't very big, since they hold them once a month, but I had never gone to one, so it was worth the trip. What did I find? Well, the different vendors all had boxes of comics with deals like "$1 each, 15 for $10" so I browsed a bit and was happy to find these:


The Invaders are a super team that fought nazis in World War II. Not just any nazis, mind you. Super nazis, like the scary bondage chick on the left. And on the cover on the right, Captain America is saying, "Miss America! Do you see any signs yet of that NAZI VAMPIRE?" How mind-blowingly awesome is that?!?!? My slow, long-term goal is to get a full run of The Invaders comic. It lasted less than 50 issues in the mid-1970s, and since I don't care about condition (it only has to have the cover and all the pages intact) it shouldn't be a difficult goal. I added 11 more issues to my collection Saturday, in good condition, for a buck each.

Anywho, we went to lunch after that, and it was like a sitcom set-up. Just before the appetizers arrived, L. got a call from her client and she stepped outside to take the call. We asked for a box for her appetizer since the main course was due to arrive when she finished her call. Just as the server arrived with the food, L. received another call from her client and went outside to take it. In the time she was gone, I finished my meal, got a box for hers, paid the check and met her in the parking lot. She said she had to return to the office, so we went home so she could get her car. I put her uneaten lunch in the fridge and she worked until 10pm.

Monday we went to a late breakfast at the diner and then she went to, you guessed it, work. So even though it was a three-day weekend, my poor wife worked nearly all of it... literally all of it! But the client loved the final product, so it was worthwhile. And though the romantic dinner I had planned for Sunday night had to be postponed until last night, it too was a big success.

Oh, and today is my birthday.

Stayed in town this weekend. Kind of a strange weekend. More later.

Kind of a chore-filled busy weekend, but we capped it off with pizza and beer and staying up until 12:30 last night watching Ninja Warrior, so it was a nice end, at least. House guest sister-in-law flies home this afternoon, so I'll be alone again starting tonight. But I've tivoed a lot of shows I need to catch up on: Haven't watched last week's Heroes yet, or the new shows that come on before or after it (Chuck and that time travel show, whatever it's called). And I've only managed five pages of the book I'm reading, so that's proof of my lack of free time recently.

L is talking about cold weather and fires in the fireplace. Meanwhile, we have yet another week in the 80s every day. Sheesh.