smacky and bucky

They're calling for anywhere from 4 to 14 inches of snow today. Government is on "liberal leave" (isn't that great? Like Republicans would go to work no matter what and liberals look for any reason to slack off. Yes, I know that's not what they mean by liberal...it's just subliminal. I usually go in at 7 (flex time, baby. I go in early and leave at 3) but I'm sticking around home until 8 or so and waiting for the snow to start. Might just end up taking a personal day anyway.

We watched I heart Huckabees and Motorcycle Diaries yesterday. Both were...not bad. Huckabees had some interesting ideas, though the comedy portion was more "chuckle" than "ha ha." Best line in the movie was from Albert's mother, talking to a French author: "Are you a bitch? What a bitch. How many kids do you have, bitch?"

UPDATE: I came in to work at 8, and it looks like the idiots got it wrong again. Now they're saying 3-6 inches, more likely toward the low end. This AFTER all schools closed. Someone should do a story on how much money incorrect forecasts cost taxpayers by closing schools and lost time at work.

Well, the federal government closed early yesterday, so I was able to make it home before we were forced to eat coworkers. Every snowflake around here is hyped until you think it's the end of the world, like Kirk Cameron is going to show up and you'll have to say "Oh crap, it's the rapture."

Last night on CSI a skinny guy was crushed while having sex with a 300 lb woman. And they actually portrayed her with dignity, which was refreshing. For once she wasn't the goofy sidekick or butt of the jokes. They made the geeky former lab guy, now field agent, lay on his back while they lowered a weighted mannequin on top of him to figure out the weight of the killer. Now that was funny.

We're staying in town this weekend. Any good movies showing now? Let me know, otherwise I might be forced to see Hitch. Ugh.

News says we're getting the biggest snowfall of winter so far right now. So why am I sitting in my office?

I got an email from a friend from my Peace Corps days the other day, and it brought back a lot of memories. It's amazing that very few of those memories had to do with my JOB over there (teaching English). Rather, I remembered sitting in a plastic chair, at a plastic table in the dirt, the sun setting, music playing on the radio on the counter, a beer in front of me, and just feeling completely contented. Nowhere to be, nothing to do. The students were in the second month of their strike, and the university was still being kept closed by soldiers with machine guns. Despite all this, I was very relaxed, and felt completely safe, and was just waiting for friends to show up. Living on African time is a lot like living on island time. Being "on time" meant getting there within 30 minutes of the agreed-upon time. The biggest decision of the day was whether to order the fish or the chicken (those being the only two choices). Just sitting there with eyes half closed, feeling the harmitan (the hot wind that rolls down from the Sahara), and not worrying about a thing. Not thinking about loves lost, or missed opportunities, or want of anything material. The sandals on my feet causing tan lines in February. During the strike it was a long series of days with just me, my bicycle, and a paperback. I read the entire Travis McGee series by John D. MacDonald during the strike. And I rode lazy circuits in the heat around the city, stopping to chat with the guy who sold the bootleg cassettes, or the woman who made the omelet sandwiches.

(Title of today's entry is from Grease 2. Seen it?) I managed to watch Slaughter's Big Rip-Off, and Black Mama, White Mama before my wife asked if I was going to hide and watch blaxploitation movies all weekend. Um...I guess if that's not an option, then no... So we did couples-type stuff after that, which isn't a lot different from what you do alone, except there are more positions. (Just a suggestive joke after a three-day weekend. Forgive me.)

I'm in the process of updating my iPod software, which shouldn't be a problem, except we have dial-up at home, and the program takes between 5 and 7 hours to download with dial-up. My wife instead downloaded it at her office in 15 minutes and burned it onto a disc for me, so I can update it tonight. Our server at work has a lot of blocks on it, so we can't download things, for fear of a big hulking virus. By the way, I'm updating my iPod because though I've had it for quite a while, I've never even glanced at the iTunes store to purchase music for 99 cents. I have a $15 card that came with the iPod, and I figured I might as well use it. But I started browsing the store and couldn't think of anything I was looking for. The most downloaded songs list didn't inspire me, and for some artists, my collection is better than iTunes, which might have one greatest hits album by a band, while I might have all eight of this band's cds, and I'm looking for some b-side.

I'm polling for good suggestions for books to read. Anyone read anything worth recommending recently? (Don't say DaVinci Code. I'm not reading that.)

Ah, Friday before a long weekend. Is there anything better?

Oh, about our "big date" a few evenings ago: We went to dinner as planned and had a great time, but on the way to the restaurant, my wife said "I was talking to Thelma DuBois (name changed to protect, blah blah) and she said that movie (Sideways) wasn't very good at all." I could have told her it didn't look very good to me either, but she had mentioned several times wanting to see it, and you're not supposed to look at your spouse and say "Oh yeah? Well I think it looks like 2 hours of shit!" (I didn't feel that strongly against it, I just can't get over that guy being Lowell on Wings.)

So instead we went shopping after dinner. Little background: Last weekend a nun visited my mother-in-law's church. This nun works at an orphanage in Mexico. She asked the congregation if they could please consider donating children's sneakers, since the village has poor sanitation and the kids need shoes. So my mother-in-law went to Pay-less (or however you spell it) and bought FORTY-FIVE pairs of sneakers, in every size imaginable. The store was having their "buy one get one half off sale." Thus, after dinner Wednesday, we went to Pay-less, and bought 30 pairs of sneakers, in assorted kid's sizes. They completely filled my trunk and backseat. I have to take them to the church Saturday morning, so I've been driving around with them the last few days. I'm basically the muscle in this scenario, since my wife's the one with the big heart. I look good by association because I'm making the delivery, but she's got the caring soul.

I also stopped by the craft store next door (don't laugh!) and bought two record frames. I stumbled across the debut album by Barry White, called I've Got So Much Love to Give, and on the cover, he's wearing a suede coat with wide lapels, and holding four women in his open hands, and I love it. Check it out here.

Oh, don't eat at the Don Pablo's at Fair Lakes. Food was cold, and they weren't even that busy. Icky. We were there last night. The highlight of our trip out there was me finding Shaft's Big Score and Shaft in Africa for $5.50 each. If you don't know them, check imdb.com. They're not porn, though they sound like it, don't they? See, it's because my wife doesn't mock me when I make purchases like this, that I didn't say anything disparaging about Sideways.

Now then, on that note, Isaac Hayes is going to sing me out: They say this cat Shaft is a BAAAAAD mutha fu- SHUT YOUR MOUTH! But I'm just talkin' about Shaft! THEN WE CAN DIG IT...

Have a nice weekend. Stay warm.

My wife bought XM for her car. Cool, you think, she'll have tons of commercial-free music. Uh...not so fast. She told me she got it so she could have more NPR choices, and Bob Edwards went to XM after being fired from NPR. More NPR. Well, at least since it's pay radio, she should be able to avoid those endless pledge drives.

I want to watch almost all of these. Is that wrong?

What I learned yesterday at work: If you've been flipping through the stations on the radio by punching "scan," and it stops on a country station while you're on the phone, and someone then walks in and hears it, don't lurch for the radio to turn it off. I felt like I'd been caught masturbating. Especially since this coworker only listens to opera (ONLY!).

I'm going to surprise my wife tonight and take her to dinner and to see Sideways. She's going to be shocked, because while I love movies, I really don't enjoy going to movies. People talk, babies cry, it's just a hassle. But I'll suck it up because she's been talking nonstop about how she wants to see this before the Oscars. And hey, it's not like she's asking me to try clog dancing. I need to quit being a baby. I just need to remember to tivo Lost, because I can't miss an episode of that, or I'll be even more confused than I usually am about that show.

Go to Amazon.com and watch the trailer for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I loved those books growing up, and the movie looks like it will do justice to Douglas Adam's skewed view.

I've also been listening to the rockabilly stylings of Link Wray and his Ray Men. They have quite a history in the DC area, which I've only recently discovered. You heard his song Rumble in the movie Pulp Fiction.

Yes, I'm still around. I've just been busy, and a little stressed, and unmotivated to write when I did have the time. I've been watching some episodes of Sliders, and thinking about the implications of the show. An infinite number of worlds, and each time you slide, you arrive at the exact spot you were on in the previous world(s). There has to be a little give and take in that coordinates though. Supposed you were in a field when you left, and the Earth you arrive on has a building there. Would you reappear within the walls and die? Yes, thoughts like these keep me up at night.

Valentine's Day. We had a nice day, and I love my wife like nobody's business ('cause it's not) but what a SCAM holiday! Buy her flowers, buy her a card, buy her candy, buy her a gift, Why don't they just name the holiday "All About Men Propping Up America's Retailers" day and get it over with, since most of the shit purchased for that day is by men for women? I got stuff too, don't think I'm bitter and giftless, but I think it would be more romantic if we picked a personal day between ourselves, like March 19 (for no better reason than it's a random Saturday), when we would exchange little gifts and no one would know why. I feel like I preprogrammed slug doing all the Valentine's Day bullshit along with the other fools.

Has anyone seen the director's cut of Donny Darko? Is it worth seeing for the extra 20 minutes of footage?

Last night ABC news had a piece on people fired for things they said in their blogs. One KMart employee divulged confidential financial info (which was just stupid) and a flight attendant posted pics of herself posing in uniform (nothing dirty, but she showed a bit more cleavage than the uniform usually allows. She's hitting the talkshow circuit already, so she's gearing up for her 15 minutes of fame, so I can't pity her too much.

I'm lucky I enjoy my job, but even if I hated it, I wouldn't write about it here. Some things you just keep to yourself. Duh.

Oh, so now Karl Rove oversees EVERYTHING in the White House, including all policy issues, and homeland security. So if America starts looking like the movie The Siege, you'll know why. And if America starts looking like Under Siege, the movie with Steven Seagal, then we're ALL screwed.

Finally, Prince Charles announced Thursday that he will marry his lover Camilla Parker Bowles. That in itself is not a very interesting news item. The funny part is this:

Prime Minister Tony Blair also said he was "delighted."

Since the British monarchy has as much power as your average American celebrity nowadays, Blair's comment is as silly as the idea of Bush issuing a statement that he's "very disappointed" that Jennifer and Brad were getting a divorce.

Giving blood today at work, because only 6% of the population is A negative, and I would want someone to donate for me if I needed it. That, and the Red Cross bugs me all the time about how much they want my sweet, sweet blood. They can't get enough.

I'm excited about a new show premiering February 20th called Robot Chicken. It's created by Seth Green, no stranger to geek rolls, including voicing characters on Family Guy. What's unique about Robot Chicken? It's done in stop-motion animation using action figures. How freaking cool is that? And, ..."a number of celebrities will provide voices, including Scarlett Johannson, Burt Reynolds, Ryan Seacrest, Mark Hamill and Macauley Culkin." That's right. Burt F'ing Reynolds. Step off, fool!
The episode guide can be found HERE. Show #2 sounds like the best one:

“The Deep End”
Find out what happens when seven superheroes are forced to live under one roof in “The Real World: Metropolis.” Then catch Adm. James T. Kirk, Khan Noonian Singh and Kirk Cameron at work in a pizza joint in “Two Kirks, a Khan and a Pizza Place.” Someone is on a mission to track down the Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny in “Kill Bunny.” Lastly, go backstage for America’s favorite undead reality show, “Zombie Idol.”

In other geek news, Wil Wheaton, author of a very good book called Just a Geek, is hitting the big time. He's going to play a homeless man/murder suspect on CSI. Way to go Wil! He's remarkably well adjusted for a "former child star," and I'm glad to see him finding success as both an author and an adult actor.

Valentine's Day...gotta make plans...

I spent a lovely Saturday afternoon watching Dead Like Me. We don't have Showtime, so I'd never seen this show, but I bought the first season on DVD, because I often spend money on things without having any idea if they are good, because I'm not very bright sometimes. After I watched the pilot, I looked at the credits and recognized the name Bryan Fuller as the creator. Fuller was also the co-creator of Wonderfalls, which means I officially love everything he does and his shows seem cursed to be canceled too soon.

I hope the conservatives were happy with the Super Bowl halftime show. A 62-year-old man singing 35-year-old songs. Nice and safe. Of course 40 years ago, southern conservatives were burning Beatles records because John Lennon mentioned the band was "bigger than Jesus," a phrase that was taken out of context, and the American south immediately branded the band a bunch of long-haired sinners. Now McCartney is the hip grandpa you can watch with your kids. I didn't watch much of the game, because football doesn't interest me. If I don't watch it all season, I don't have a lot invested in the final game.

Title from the great Al Green song, because that's where I'm heading after work, with my dog. We'll meet the wife down there tonight. Looking forward to some sunshine and mild temps. I'm tired of gray clouds and snow.

Sad to hear that Ossie Davis died at age 87 (wow, he looked good, though! I never would have guessed he was that old!). If you haven't seen Bubba Ho-Tep, you haven't seen the touching story of the friendship between an elderly Elvis Presley and JFK with his skin dyed black. Really, Ossie added class to anything he did, no matter how freaking goofy.

Also recently deceased: John Vernon, who played Dean Wormer in the classic Animal House. He had the wonderful line "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." Words to live by.

My wife left this morning for Huntsville, Alabama to give a presentation for work. She's returning this evening. That's a long day at the office! I think I'll get Chinese food tonight and watch something stupid on TV.


Speaking of TV, UPN announced that Enterprise has been canceled. (Can't say I watched it once since they moved it to Fridays. I kept forgetting it was on.) This isn't unexpected, but it's not good news for the Trek franchise. It's not like they did this to get everyone's attention and make them angry, so they can whip out "Classic Trek." Yes, I'm using New Coke as an analogy. You don't take a beating like this, then immediately bankroll something different with the same name. Don't expect a "new, better, revitalized" Trek for a while. It's amazing how many people who consider themselves Trek fans are celebrating this like it's the best thing that could happen to Trek. Even if you hated the show, how could this be a good thing? The first Trek show in 40 years to not go the full 7 seasons. Good job. That really gives you faith in the genre. For the record, Enterprise was the first Trek show I watched, with the exception of a few episodes of the original series. I'm not weeping that the show is ending, but I'm not dancing either. Because it's not good news, and I dance badly anyway.

In a perfect world, Wonderfalls would be a top 20 show and we'd be deep into its second season. But Fox dropped it for low-ratings crap like Who's Your Daddy? so it was not to be. At least we have the complete series on DVD. I can't wait to dig into it this weekend.

This winter has been a breeding ground for illness. My wife and I both had headaches last night, but different kinds, and from different causes. We went to sleep at 10 last night, because 8 hours of sleep is a luxury. The animals must have been exhausted too for some reason, because they slept in this morning, which they never do. Maddie, the smaller cat, usually starts knocking things over around 5:30 in an attempt to wake me up. She purposely knocks things over, then looks over at me to see if I react. It's devious, but I have to admire the thought that goes into it, even though it pisses me off too. It's impossible to stay mad at that ball of fluff though. She looks at me with those big eyes and meows, and I have to smile. I'm going to be such a pushover if we ever have a daughter.