smacky and bucky

This has been an amazing time off. My sister-in-law and her husband arrived from NYC on Friday night, and another sister-in-law and husband arrive tonight. I won't list what I received for Christmas, but Santa (and Laura's family) were very, very nice to me. I'm up early today, this lazy day after Christmas, watching one of my gifts: Maniac Cop, a 1987 movie with a young Bruce Campbell.

I'm just checking in to say all is well, we're all happy, and the money from the house sale was wired into our account, so we're a little less poor now (because, wow, were we poor this year!).

Oh, one last thing: We gave the pets gifts Christmas morning, and our boy kitty Buzz got an octopus. It's got feathers in the middle, and bells on it. When we returned from Laura's folks' house where we had dinner, Buzz was asleep in the chair with the octopus beside him. He carries it around and is very possessive of it. It's very cute.

We close on the house tomorrow at 11am. The realtor told us the name of the title company the buyers want to use, and out of all the many thousands of title companies in the VA-DC-MD area, the one they chose is on the second floor of my office building (I work on the fourth floor)! Imagine the astronical odds of that!

Our office Christmas party is this afternoon, then I'm off until January 3, 2007! Whoooooooooo! Happy holidays!

I'll close with a little something for the English majors out there:

Two pieces of sad news in the history of animation:

(1) Joseph Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera) dead at 95.

Barbera and his partner William Hanna were responsible for creating the most endearing cartoon characters of all time. From their first major creation, Tom and Jerry, they went on to create memorable characters like Yogi Bear, The Flinstones, The Jetsons, Huckleberry Hound, Scooby-Doo, and Jabberjaw. I remember being a little kid at the restaurant Ground Round, eating peanuts, throwing the shells on the floor (it was encouraged!) and watching Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

(2) Emmy-winning television writer Chris Hayward is dead at 81.

Chris Hayward, known to cartoon fans as the creator of Dudley Do-right and to others as the co-creator of The Munsters passed away on November 20 at the age of 81. Hayward wrote for Jay Ward Productions, starting with Crusader Rabbit and later writing for Rocky and Bullwinkle, the show where Dudley Do-Right, a moral Canadian Mountie whose love interest was more interested in his horse than him, first appeared.

Hee hee... We left town Friday around 2:30 and got to my parents' place around 6:30. Saturday we had a family gathering with my sister's family (my brother-in-law and two nephews), grandparents, and great aunt and uncle. Many gifts exchanged, holiday food eaten.

I received this:


Revisit and relive every Avengers comic book, covering over 40 years from September 1963 through December 2005. Over 535 complete printable comics, that's over 19,000 pages including all issues. Read every single page as they were originally published-all the letter pages, pin-ups, bullpen bulletins and every single advertisement.

It's not a replacement for real comics made of paper (which I haven't purchased in a long, long time), but it's the cheapest way to get all these at once. The picture quality is great, and I spent last night browsing random issues from across the decades. With issues as recent at last December, it covers stories that are still ongoing.

Best part of the weekend: My grandmother agrees that the "War on Christmas" is stupid and just a plea for attention from conservative Christians, while my overly-religious brother-in-law made a point of saying "Merry Christmas."

My wife likes to say I'm hard to shop for, but that's complete b.s. and she knows it. I've got a multitude of silly interests, any of which can be sated for less than $20:

(1) Films of Bruce Campbell: Maniac Cop just came out on DVD, with a commentary by the man himself!

(2) Films of Jackie Chan: Oaky, this guy is in a million movies, and many of them have been released in America under different titles, so I can understand if this is confusing. His latest is an Asian release called Rob-B-Hood.

(3) Superheroes: Vague, and I know this can be dangerous ground to try to walk. Does smacky like Superman? Batman? Spiderman? The answer is "yes," and I've never purchased any movie with those characters, knowing that someone in my family or Laura's family would get it for me for Christmas. It's always a safe bet. Sometimes I get multiple copies even.

(4) Music: C'mon, you know music is a passion of mine. Sure, the "Which band does smacky like this week?" game can get old fast, so don't try to keep up. It's why God invented gift cards!

I also have an Amazon wish list for convenience, which some might say takes the excitement out of it, but I generally put things on that list that I wouldn't normally buy for myself, so receiving any item from the list is a treat. Besides, when you've got some family members you see two or three times a year and have no idea what to get them, the Amazon list is the surest way to ensure they get something they genuinely want. My wife's sisters have wish lists, and clicking and sending with Amazon prime free 2-day shipping is the easiest thing in the world.

Oh, and since I'm sure you're dying to know, I made a new playlist called SOLD THAT HOUSE! and tried to pick upbeat, happy songs (or songs that made me feel upbeat and happy). It has 255 songs in it, so I'll spare you the entire list. Here are the first 20:

(1) Robbie Williams: The '90s
(2) Rosanne Cash: The Wheel
(3) Olivia Newton-John: Xanadu
(4) Air: Surfing on a Rocket
(5) Whigfield: Big Time
(6) Fleetwood Mac: Don't Stop
(7) Sophie Ellis Bextor: Take Me Home
(8) Garbage: Right Between the Eyes
(9) Paul Weller: Uh-Huh, Oh Yeh
(10) Style Council: My Ever Changing Moods
(11) Big Country: In a Big Country
(12) Los Pacaminos: My My My
(13) The The: That Was the Day
(14) Weezer: Buddy Holly
(15) Puffy AmiYmi: Planet Tokyo
(16) Trash Can Sinatra: All the Dark Horses
(17) Eurythmics: When Tomorrow Comes
(18) Jimmy Buffett: Lovely Cruise
(19) Tom Petty: Runnin' Down a Dream
(20) Melanie C: Go!

Feel free to mock. It also has Spice Girls, Queen, and Duran Duran songs on the playlist if the ones above aren't goofy enough for ya.

Yesterday after work I went to the other house and completed my last task: replacing a 30 cent screw on the water level device in the toilet tank. If the new screw hadn't been barely 1mm wider than the previous one, and if, as a result of that increase in girth, the screwdriver hadn't slipped and gashed my thumb (twice), then it would have been a flawless hat trick for smacky, in terms of home repair. But I fixed the toilet, wrapped a tissue around my bleeding thumb, and walked through each room of the house, making sure nothing was overlooked. Closing and locking the door for the final time and driving away from that house for the final time, I fought the urge to giggle hysterically. It's all over except for the transfer of funds from them to us.

This afternoon, in lieu of home repair, I'm going to make a couple of new playlists for the iPod. I haven't made one since summer, and I have some ideas for some good ones. I'll let you know what I decide to create.

Wow, I believe this is the longest I've gone between posts since I started this thing in '04. But I've finally sobered up. (Kidding!) Been super busy with house stuff. Here's the deal: the home inspector walked through the house with the buyers last Thursday. The home inspector's job is supposed to be to point out potential issues that need addressing before the sale can be finalized. I think this guy's job was to nit-pick a bunch of tiny things in the hopes that, rather than address each one, we'd just offer the buyers a fat check to cover all repairs. Unfortunately they didn't plan on me being a secret handyman, so here's how it came down (problem mentioned followed by solution):

(1) Baseboard heat in master bedroom not working: I checked out the baseboards, then went down to the basement and checked the furnace. The valve to the line clearly labeled "Upstairs Master Bedroom" was completely closed. WTF? I turned the valve counter-clockwise, cranked up the heat in that room, and soon it was 78 degrees. Problem solved for free.

(2) Overflow drain in tub leaks, needs new gasket. Bought a new gasket at Home Depot, removed the drain cover, cut out old worn gasket, inserted new gasket, and tightened drain cover. Poured bucket of water into drain to confirm no leak. Problem solved for $1.75.

(3) Downstairs toilet will not flush unless you hold the handle down. Shortened length on chain from handle to flapper. Problem solved for free.

(4) Need new batteries for smoke detectors. Problem solved for $5.00 (batteries are expensive!).

(5) Incorrect thermostat for air conditioner. Need new one. Bought a digital themostat and installed it. This took the longest time, because I had to label all the wires before removing the old one, and wire everything up on the new one. Problem solved for $18.00.

Our realtor's contractor came by the house to check all the work I did and gave it a certified thumbs-up. So no inflated check for unnecessary repairs for the buyers (happy dance for saving at least $500!).

On top of all this, the buyers confirmed that they want the four items of furniture we offered them, so I won't have to rent a truck and haul the stuff to charity, so the house is officially empty now!

We close on December 21, so the 18-month saga will be over before Christmas.

Busy week. I've gone over to the other house every evening and organized things by myself, as Laura has been working evenings on a big project for work (don't envy her work, so I'm gladly doing the housework). Even when you think you didn't leave much in the house, there's always more. A forgotten cabinet in the kitchen with some dishes in it. Do we need them? Donate? Quietly chuck them in the garbage? Cleaning supplies: I made the rule that it had to have at least 75% left in the bottle or it was trash.

I think I can almost finish tonight with one last fit of trashing and boxing things up. We'll still need to rent a truck to get two large items that won't fit in the car: a table and some patio furniture. Hopefully the new owners will take us up on our offer and choose to keep the items we offered them: a futon, a dresser, and a sofa. That will be three less things to take to Goodwill, and one less load for the truck. I'll know by Monday if they want them.

Last night when I got home after trip number two to the house, unloading the car for a second time, I sank my sore body into a chair and both cats hopped on me, one on my lap and one across my legs. Then the dog sat at my feet and pressed her head against my leg so I could pet her. Laura stopped working and made a great dinner, then returned to the computer. I cleaned up the kitchen, then cleaned myself up.

Folks, this is the house we put on the market in June 2005, the one that's been on and off the market for the last year and a half. I spent two summers mowing two lawn at two houses. I spent two autumns raking leaves at two houses. It ends now! I'm taking the last few items out of the house and handing over the keys!

This will be me this afternoon. In last Friday's winds, the top half of a tree came down. Good news: It landed on the ground in front of the garage door, missing garage, fence, and house. Bad news: Too big to move without cutting it up, so I borrowed my father-in-law's chainsaw this weekend to use today. Hopefully I'll avoid this character's fate: He lopped off his own leg using a chainsaw last week!

(This all happened in Gil Thorp, by the way. It's supposedly a strip about football, but it also dealt with gambling addition, drinking, car explosions, and chainsaw mishaps in the last few months.)

We decorated the Christmas tree on Sunday, and it was more of a chore than a pleasure. Hope some of that "Christmas Spirit" comes soon. Otherwise, I'll have to pull an Aldo Kelrast and find that spirit in a bottle!

Since you asked, this is the latest in Mary Worth:
The woman is not Mary, but another advice giver (TM), because the apartment complex is apparently filled with more fuck-ups than one old lady can handle. I do love the man's karate demonstration he's giving her, after calling her a "crackpot."

One last thing:








^
^
^
Sucker!

Today the temperature will likely reach the low 70s, but the winter storm that has been dumping snow across middle America is coming through this afternoon. Due to the bizarrely mild temps, they are predicting a ton of rain and 60 MPH winds, so it will be more hurricane than snowstorm. Then the temperature is supposed to drop about 35 degrees, and by Monday, highs will be in the low 40s.

This will be the background while we decorate our Christmas tree, not very Christmasy setting to work under, but what can you do? Due to upcoming obligations, we have to get the tree up this weekend, or it will be nearly Christmas day before we have a chance to again.

Completely changing the subject, I watched The New Kids last night. Made in 1985 and directed by Sean Cunningham (producer of Friday the 13th), the movie is part teen angst, part revenge thriller, and all kick-ass. Starring Lori Loughlin (a few years before she sold her soul to be in Full House for a decade), the story line is this: Lori and her brother move to the deep south to live with an uncle after their parents die in a car crash. Being the deep south, she immediately catches the eyes of the local scumbags at their school. The leader of the gang is James Spader, doing a really great job of white-trashing it up, with polyester shirts, bleached blond hair and an accent straight out of Hee Haw. He's a completely disgusting individual, and when he and his redneck buddies decide it would be a hoot to hook up with Lori... things get ugly. I won't spoil the rest of the plot, but it involves an amusement park after-hours, four shotguns, a bowl of goat blood, an angry rottweiler, gasoline, electricity, punches, kicks, and a zippo lighter. This movie is a lot of fun. I purchased it in Deep Discount DVD's last big sale. We haven't been exactly flush with green lately, so I was only able to pick up a couple of already cheap films, but I'm glad I chose this one.