smacky and bucky

I have poison ivy from my knees to my ankles.

Must... resist... urge... to... scratch...


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

Got home last night about 9pm, after four days out of town. We had a good time. Wife's sister and sister's husband came down as well, and we swam, played poker, played pool, went out in the boat, watched movies, and had a cookout. I finished a book and started another one. Now we're back in a minor heat wave. Supposed to be humid and 90 today. Of course, I have to mow the lawn after work, which is a drag, but unavoidable. Also have to deal with the other house. They're starting to refinish the wood floors on Friday, so I have to move the remaining furniture to the carpeted areas of the house (and mow the lawn there as well. See how it never ends?).

I watched the Lost finale again over the vacation, and I'm still thinking about it. A few things I'm pondering:

(1) Fake Henry Gale's line, "We're the good guys." Who the hell are the bad guys? Dharma? Can the "good" guys be trusted? They promised Michael to not hurt Jack, Kate, and Sawyer. Of course, they also promised Michael that if he followed the precise compass heading of 325, he'd get rescued. Does that put him in a busy shipping lane? Is that the only compass heading that would get him away from the island successfully? If he's rescued, how does he explain surviving the crash, how does he explain the boat, and how does he answer questions about the other survivors?

(2) Locke's final line, "I was wrong." What a line, and what a reading of it. Three words filled with such pain and shame. Awesome. What are the fates of Locke, Eko, and Desmond?

(3) Confirmation that the real world exists, with the introduction of Penelope Widmore, daughter of the man who may be behind the whole thing! (If he is, he knows Desmond has been trapped on the island for three years. What a prick.) Now the the electromagnatic pulse has been released, are the island's cloaking abilities gone? Did the team in the snow pinpoint the island's location? Will Penelope send a team down (or come with them)? Will they succeed in finding the island? Will they be stranded once they arrive? Will she become a new castmate on the island? Will her father know she's there? How will that affect plans?

Lots of questions. Lots of ways the writers could go. Good final episode.

Sorry this is going to be a disjointed post.

One of my authors is very sick. When he was working on his first book with us, he had a stroke. He recovered and finished the book, which has become a popular title of ours. I was working with him on topics to cover in the second volume, and hadn't heard from him since early May. Yesterday he sent a letter saying he regrets that he can't continue work on the book since his kidneys are failing and he's started dialysis. He included a list of three other people he recommends to take his place and continue writing the book. It's really sad, because he's a great guy, a pleasure to work with, with lots of interesting ideas. I can't believe he's dying.

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I need to watch the final episode of Lost again before I make any comments about it. Lots of information to absorb. Overall, I was satisfied with it. Though I wanted to see Hurley beat the crap out of Michael. But he took the high road and left Michael to his shame.

Luckily, I've got a four-day weekend to ponder it.

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I'm a horrible brother. My sister's birthday was last Friday, and when I couldn't find her phone number, I just gave up and didn't call. I could have gotten the number in 10 seconds from my parents, but I'm monumentally lame. I'm going to send a late gift instead.

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Seacrest out (sound of a shotgun blast)! See ya Tuesday.

Picked up Personal File by Johnny Cash after work yesterday. It's 49 songs he recorded in his private studio and never released. Just him and his guitar. It's a mix of MTV Unplugged and VH1 Storytellers, except that most of the recordings are from 1973, so he was decades ahead of his time.

This week has just been errand after errand. Need to install a ceiling fan in the other house (the house we're about to put on the market again. I won't rehash that whole mess. Too painful). The fan will be hanging down from the top of a cathedral ceiling (meaning high sloped, not in an actual church), so I will be needing some assistance with it. Hoping the father-in-law will come down next week, with the promise of a meal as enticement.

Season finale of Lost tonight. I am definitely looking forward to it.

Oh my, I am boring this week.

Not much to say. Uneventful, relaxing weekend. Watched an Albert Brooks movie in which he wrote, directed, and starred. And it sucked. He's much better with other peoples' material.

Then on Sunday I was sick. Joy.

So, since my real life is dull and depressing, here's the deleted scene from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Luke talks to his buddy Biggs. Wow, to think there was a time when Lucas removed the scenes that were too talky and slow, rather than built entire movies around the concept! (Hating on Lucas is TOO easy. Like I didn't go see every movie. And buy them on DVD...)

My two sisters-in-law went home! One took the train and the other left by plane. Pets finally outnumber people again.

Thoughts on last night's Lost:

• So, Michael was given an ultimatum (two, really): Free (not)Henry from the hatch and bring only the people on this list (Hurley, Sawyer, Jack, and Kate) back to us, or you will never see Walt again. Fine, has to be agonizing for a father to deal with that.
• Unless they left out a vital piece of that flashback, they never said anything about killing anyone. Michael shot Ana Lucia as part of a plan that he created. What a prick.
• Locke and Eko were not on that list.
• The "others" don't want Sayid, probably because he would never respond correctly to their mind games. He's a torturer, for fuck's sake! Threaten to kill Kate? Ooooh, I'm scared. You'll never see Walt again? So what? Take Michael too so we don't have to hear him pontificate about "It's my son, we'll do it my way!" Of course this made carrying out their demands really difficult. If you're grabbing some guns and going up against the others, what possible reason could you give for not wanting the Gulf War vet coming along? Even Sawyer couldn't see the logic in Michael's protests. And Sayid saw through it immediately. Jack, trusting fool that he is, didn't. "Too many people and they'll hear us?" WTF?!? Hurley may be "spry," as he called himself last season, but he ain't Sayid.
• Okay, so Kate will go if either Sawyer or Jack go, so that's no problem. But Hurley? How do you make him come along? What could upset Hurley enough that he'd hike across the island with a gun? Was killing Libby the greatest coincidence of all time? Libby's death was the ONLY thing that would motivate Hurley. Even then, he had to be bullied into it. Real subtle, Mike. Even Kate thought you were being a dick.
• And please, compare notes, everyone that is traveling with Michael on this little trip [trap]. If Sawyer would only say "Mike didn't want me to bring Sayid. He said it would be too many people." Then maybe Kate would say "That's weird. Michael had to taunt Hurley into going. Hurley didn't even want to come." It's probably too much to ask that these people would just point out Mike's acting weird. Thank God for Sayid saying something to Jack. Here's hoping he also says something to Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley, because Jack will probably sit on the information until they're all captured in the season finale.

(1) When it's pouring rain, leaping into the cab of a pick-up truck a little too enthusiastically will result in a walnut-sized knot on the top of my head (and a two-day headache).

(2) When you are dealing with grief, it's impossible to impartially pick over your loved one's material belongings. You will pack up nearly everything and ship it to your house (most likely to be sold or thrown out at a later date).

(3) When you have house guests for over two weeks, it's important not to complain to anyone (except in a blog!).

(4) When you have house guests for over two weeks, you realize how much you enjoy sitting around in your underwear, and how that's not possible with two sisters-in-law around.

(5) Spicy Mexican food for dinner, followed the next night by spicy Thai food for dinner, will have consequences. Serious consequences.

(6) My father-in-law may move in with us for a while at the end of the month. (He and his wife sold their house in the DC area, his wife retired and is at their river house full time, and he is still working up here during the week, but will soon be homeless.

Wow, this weekend went by fast. That's what happens when you're working your ass off. Still have houseguests (day um... day 12), and they're still cleaning out their mother's house! They rented a pick-up and my father-in-law (the girls' father) and I loaded it up and made repeated trips to a storage unit on Saturday, hauling big pieces of furniture the girls want but can't take home with them yet. Each trip from the truck required the following:

(1) Enter the seven-digit code to enter the building.

(2) Enter the seven-digit code again to enter the elevator (and go one floor down. Yes, their stuff is being stored underground, like military secrets, or the Ark of the Covenant!)

(3) Haul the items to the end of a hallway, turn left, go to the other far end of the hallway, turn left again. Yep, the storage unit is as far from the elevator as possible.

We did that seven times on Saturday. And four more times on Sunday.

Today is trash day in their mother's neighborhood, so when we returned from the storage center yesterday (in pouring rain), we had to fill up the back of the truck with heavy, soaking wet trash bags and drive them up the hill to unload them at the curb.

I took a shower and fell asleep last night at 10.

Woke up this morning and tip-toed around, getting dressed in the dark (again) and sneaking out the door.

I think they're here three more days.

Oh, but at least I remembered to send my mother 20 tulips and a balloon to her office on Friday for Mother's Day. And I called her yesterday. So now I've got points as a good son and a good in-law. Rock on.

So this week has been LONG. We've had houseguests of one kind or another every day since May 4, and I'm not certain when it will end. Sneaking around every morning getting ready for work, helping them load boxes after work, dinner is always a big production of "Where do you wanna eat? I don't know, what do you feel like?" Damn, I felt like eating an hour ago, but I'm not hungry anymore.

I decided I needed a distraction, something that would lift my mood in small doses. No, I didn't turn to illicit drugs. I picked up Robot Chicken. Watching the 15 minute show a few episodes at a time on DVD, that's the way to do it. The jokes come so fast, and there are so many episodes I missed, it's been a treat to crash on the sofa and watch toys kick each other in the groin. Watching the credits, It's amazing the number of celebrities that have voiced themselves on the show. And some of them haven't been the most flattering storylines. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman voiced themselves as mercenaries, but ultimately they're sitting at a bus stop, and Corey Haim says, "And that's what it would be like if we had our own jet."

Nine family members still hanging around the area got together and had dinner last night at Taste of Morocco (the original one in Arlington). The food was amazing, as always. We had three bottles of surprisingly good Moroccan wine. Who knew a country of mostly Muslim (non-drinkers) could make a good wine?

We returned home, and I excused myself to watch the just-Tivoed episode of Lost. Hmm. Desire to recover a child aside, I'm looking forward to Sayid beating the crap out of Michael. He spent the entire episode frantically praying for Libby's quick and silent death. And he got his wish. Libby said his name and Jack immediately jumped in with "Oh, he's fine." Way to cut off a dying woman's words, dick. The grimace on her face spoke volumes. Great, I'm dead and they think my final thought was concern for the man who killed me.

Why has Eko's faith in the button gotten stronger as Locke's faded completely? Why does Eko's dead brother want him to keep pushing the button? Did you notice the two minute warning beeping as the show ended?

Does the number log that Locke printed out only show the entered numbers from the Swan hatch? Or does it also show numbers entered from other hatches (possibly a different sequence of numbers??) I'd love to get my hands on some of the notebooks the folks in the Pearl hatch filled out. Especially from Desmond's time there. When did the Pearl hatch get abandoned? Why was the only working camera the one in the Swan hatch? Who was watching Locke and Eko in the Pearl hatch? (Love how even the watching station had a [working] camera pointed at it!) Did someone take notes of the losties breaking into the Swan hatch? I hope Eko moves into the hatch and works with Locke, both to figure out what the heck is going on and pore over the papers he took, but also to restore Locke's sense of purpose. He's feeling a little pathetic now.

Why did Dr. Marvin Candle give a different name in this orientation video? Why did he have two good arms, when he had a fake one in the other (earlier?) orientation movie? Was the arm cured (by the island)?

So many questions to ponder as the show races to the final episode of the season!

Funeral was yesterday at 5. Weather was perfect, as it was held outside at a park. After the service, everyone went to the deceased's house for food, drink, and talking. I'm taking a half day today, since we swapped out some house guests (one went back to NYC last night, another arrived from New Mexico!), and no one has a way to get around.

Funeral at 5pm today. Got to get home after work, change, and head out.

Home sick on Friday. Friday evening we received a call. A death in Laura's family. Friday night we were at the train station at 1AM picking up one of her sisters and her husband. Saturday morning we were at the airport picking up another sister. We had six people staying in our two- bedroom house all weekend. Not knowing the deceased, it was my job to run errands: to the grocery store, to Target (three times!) and stay home and answer the phone (which rang continuously all weekend). Laura helped deal with the funeral home, cleaning the deceased's house, and driving her sisters around.

Very tense weekend. As I said, I didn't know the person (only met her once) but this was Laura's stepsisters' mother (my father-in-law's ex-wife), so everyone in the house has been sad and tense, breaking into tears at random moments. Work is now a vacation from the insanity. Got up this morning and snuck around while everyone slept. Made a cup of coffee and got dressed in the dark. The funeral is scheduled for Tuesday (or Wednesday). She was cremated, and the funeral is not going to be in a church, so they have some leeway in choosing the date, depending on when people can fly in and the weather (It's raining today, and they want to have it in a park). They are staying through this coming weekend, so this entire week will be me sneaking around and keeping out of the way. Yesterday I spent the entire day alone, while everyone else was out. Between answering the phone, I finished a novel (reading, not writing) and watched a good portion of the 2004 World Series of Poker. That was the year "Fossil Man" won the whole thing and made it look so damn easy.

It's a bizarre situation, because I'm on the outside. I can't share in the stories about the woman's life, I don't take part in any of the discussions about what needs to be done, I just get orders from my wife to go places and pick up things. The woman lived a short drive from our house, so our place is the meeting point, and the hotel. I'm not complaining, it's just that everything is tense and the house is crowded and there's nowhere to go to keep out of the way.

Well, sump pump drama is over... and I'm happy to report that though I had a clue what the problem might be, I couldn't have fixed it myself without purchasing over $100 worth of tools and supplies I didn't have, so the plumber was a good call. Turns out the pump's motor was failing. It was no longer strong enough to pump the water out. The plumber quoted a price to get a new one and install it, and after I woke up from fainting, he said an alternative would be for me to go to Home Depot and pick up a pump myself and he would install it for 25% of the original quote. As soon as he finished that sentence, I was out the door. I chose the nicest one they had: Cast iron instead of plastic, twice the horsepower of the others. A thing of beauty, and more than capable of doing the job. He installed it, cutting PVC pipes and gluing them back together, and when we plugged it in: WOOSH! The water pumped out completely in less than 2 seconds. Wow.

If you're a Lost fan, please comment and let me know if you saw last night's episode. I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm dying to discuss it. All I'll say is: Don't drink and drive, and don't have sex. Those are two important rules on the island. Again, wow.

Out of my element, over my head, driving without a map, flying blind...

It appears that a device as simple as a sump pump is too much for me, college education and all. Son of a bitch! Came home from work yesterday and the pump was running, meaning the water from the clothes we washed the day before never pumped away. "Didn't I already fix you?" I asked it. It just continued to rumble at me, like a low growl. Two hours later I had completely disassembled the thing, cleaned it again, tested the pump with the outlet pipe removed (yes, it pumped the water up immediately), reassembled everything, plugged it in again...

...and it didn't work. It continued to run, but the water just swirled around.


To quote Darth Vader in Return of the Sith:

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Removing all the pipe fittings and lifting the pump out apparently worked my triceps, and they are aching today. An editor doesn't use triceps! Ouch!

So, dirty, sweaty, and shaking with excursion, I went upstairs, and with a voice dripping with complete and utter defeat, told my wife "We need to call someone."

A shower, two aspirin, and a beer later, I could almost laugh about it. There are things I cannot do, cannot understand, and cannot figure out, regardless of how much internet research, despite all the diagrams, labeled pictures, and step-by-step procedures I find. Sometimes you just gotta call a professional. My wife is off a few days this week, so she'll likely let the person in and let (s)he get to work on it. It will probably take five minutes to fix. It's probably something obvious I overlooked, some step I missed, something I didn't tighten well enough.

Mood: Freaking annoyed with myself.

The Monkey Versus Robot post the other day was really a post about how cool my wife is. This post continues that thread.

Yesterday evening we were returning from the river, and stopped in Fredericksburg to go to Five Guys for dinner. One burger with cheese, pickle, mushrooms, onion, mustard, and ketchup for me, one grilled cheese with tomato for her, an order of fries shared between us (the regular size still overflows the cup they put them in and fill the bottom of the bag. We couldn't finish them. You must get a free meal if you can finish a large order of fries!).

After we finished, we stopped by the Wal-Mart in the same complex. As De knows, I've been anticipating the arrival of the Wal-Mart exclusive wave of Marvel Legends. Rather than waste expensive gas driving to random Wal-Marts in vain, I've been tracking the sightings on various web sites. (Yeah, I'm a geek, so?) As of last Thursday, they hadn't appeared in Fredericksburg, so I didn't have high hopes they'd be there yesterday. Ah, but there they were in a nearly untouched display. You can read the review and see pics in the link above, if you're so inclined. If not, I won't bore you with details, except to say that with my wife carrying half of them, and I got all ten figures in the line and two two-packs.

When you own two houses, money can become an issue of concern. One month, the A/C might crap out in one of the houses, and you need ready cash to fix it. As a result, I rarely blow $100 on something without at least mentioning it to my wife first. So she knew about these when I mentioned them a week ago, and when we found them yesterday, she said "Go ahead and get all the ones you want and hand some to me."

Two other examples of how cool she is:

(1) Over the weekend, she was standing in front of a mirror and said "My hair is doing Angelina Jolie's baby." I asked what she meant, and she said "It's all spikey on top for some reason." I said, "Oh... Max." She said it was scary I knew the kid's name, and I said it's no more scary than her referencing the kid like that, knowing I'd get it.

(2) This morning I did a bit more research on what could be happening with the GD sump pump (running, but not pumping water), and I told her I believe the problem is likely air lock. I need to check to see if there is a 3/16th hole drilled in the pipe to the pump, and if not, drill one today after work. She responded, "Well you need to find yourself a Ford Prefect. He knows what to do in an airlock situation." Holy shit! My wife just referenced Douglas Adams!

Oh, a friend of ours is having a baby soon (very soon; due May 19th). She e-mailed pictures of the baby's room. I know a baby needs to be stimulated, but could you sleep in this room? I think it might be sensory overload: