smacky and bucky

You know that commercial that has the woman asking "You know that song 'Time in a Bottle?'"

That commercial really annoys me. Yes, it's Jim Croce, who died in a plane crash over three decades ago. I'm sure he's glad you're basically using his song for free.

I actually thought of a parody they could do on Saturday Night Live:

"You know that song 'Sugar Walls?' Did you know it was about the vagina? Seriously, it's about Sheena Easton's vagina! Me either! I was only six when it came out!" [Woman shakes head in disbelief; fade to black]


They could do maybe five of those over the course of the show, each one more insane than the last.

If you're a masochist and must watch the original commercial, you can view it here.

From Bush's address last night:

The government's top economic experts warn that without immediate action by Congress, America could slip into a financial panic, and a distressing scenario would unfold:

More banks could fail, including some in your community. The stock market would drop even more, which would reduce the value of your retirement account. The value of your home could plummet. Foreclosures would rise dramatically. And if you own a business or a farm, you would find it harder and more expensive to get credit. More businesses would close their doors, and millions of Americans could lose their jobs. Even if you have good credit history, it would be more difficult for you to get the loans you need to buy a car or send your children to college. And ultimately, our country could experience a long and painful recession.

And then... the Rape monkeys will come... raping their way across America.*





*Rape monkeys added for dramatic effect.

Still here and all that. Just don't have a lot to share. A few things:

(1) Laura's mom is back home (yay!) and felt well enough to keep the German shepherd we've been keeping for what feels like decades (double yay!) so now our house is down to the original two dogs, who are so much better behaved without the bad influence of the other dog. They don't bark at people walking by on the sidewalk! They don't shed! Yay! I took them both for a long walk after work yesterday since the weather was so mild. They had a great time.

(2) My last fall book went to the printer on Monday! Now my full focus is on the spring, with a record six titles under my watch. Yikes! So far so good.

(3) Lego Batman for the Wii looks so good. I can't wait to play it. I finished Lego Indiana Jones last weekend, between mowing with the tractor and cutting up a fallen tree with the chainsaw.

(4) Laura's job has really kicked into high gear and she's reaching the point where she needs a vacation. The problem is coordinating our schedules. I'm basically free any time in October, except the 14th, when I am attending a workshop. Laura said she wanted to go that week (of course). We need to sit down with a calendar and see what will work. Planning a vacation shouldn't be stressful.

Instead of giving the CEOs of failing companies hundreds of millions of dollars as they flee like rats, how about the CEOs take a bit of the blame, since they were leading these companies to their fiery deaths, taking thousands of employees (and often their pensions) with them?

Perhaps we could take a cue from our Asian colleagues, and these CEOs could write letters of shame and confession, then kill themselves. They could do it on TV as a reality show!

Maybe the poor decisions driven by greed could be averted if they knew their lives were on the line.

I'm reading a book about old Hollywood stars, their lives and how they died. Last night I read the listing for Humphrey Bogart, which included the line "When Humphrey learned he had throat cancer, he immediately switched to filtered cigarettes."

There's something almost quaint about that line.

Incidentally, he died at age 57.

Pink Floyd keyboard player and founder member Richard Wright has died aged 65 from cancer.

Wright appeared on the group's first album, The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, in 1967 alongside lead guitarist Syd Barrett, Roger Waters and Nick Mason.

Dave Gilmour joined the band at the start of 1968 while Barrett left the group shortly afterward.

Gilmour said: "He was such a lovely, gentle, genuine man and will be missed terribly by so many who loved him."

Writing on his website, he added: "And that's a lot of people. Did he not get the loudest, longest round of applause at the end of every show in 2006?"

Wright's spokesman said in a statement: "The family of Richard Wright, founder member of Pink Floyd, announce with great sadness that Richard died today after a short struggle with cancer.

"The family have asked that their privacy is respected at this difficult time."

He did not say what form of cancer the self-taught keyboard player and pianist had.

Wright, a founder member of The Pink Floyd Sound - and other previous incarnations including Sigma 6 - met Waters and Mason at architecture school.

Wright rejoined Pink Floyd for the London Live 8 concert in 2005

Pink Floyd achieved legendary status with albums including 1973's The Dark Side Of The Moon, which stayed in the US album chart for more than a decade.

Wright, known as Rick earlier in his career, wrote The Great Gig In The Sky and Us And Them from the album.

Waters left the band in 1981, performing his last concert at London's Earls Court.

Wright, together with Gilmour and Mason, continued to record and tour as Pink Floyd during the remainder of the 1980s and into the 1990s, releasing their last studio album - The Division Bell - in 1994.

In 2005, the full band reunited - for the first time in 24 years - for the Live 8 concert in London's Hyde Park.
(From the BBC)
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I'm so glad they all agreed to play the Live 8 show. It was definitely a highlight of that day.
Here's the band playing "Wish You Were Here" from Live 8, their last performance together ever:

I give you today's Mary Worth:

Don't bother reading the words. Just look at the blond woman. Specifically, marvel at how she goes from a somber soul in panel 1 to what someone called "a sex doll" in panel 2. Seriously, look at her eyes in panel 2. She really did turn into a rubber doll!

Since I posted an old picture of my grandfather (my mother's father) a few days ago, it's fitting that I now post an old picture of my grandmother (my father's mother). This is my grandmother... the baby in the photo. The adults are her parents, my great grandparents. I actually knew my great grandmother, as she lived to be 94. My great grandfather wasn't as fortunate, passing before I was born. ("Wasn't as fortunate" in that he didn't live into his 90s, not "wasn't as fortunate" because he didn't get to meet me. I'm not that egotistical!)

I have no idea how to get back into blogging. I saw someone die a week and a half ago. Literally saw him take his last breath. I saw another person minutes after she died. I had to express an opinion on a choice of coffin. I wrote a portion of a eulogy and delivered it to a packed church (and holy crap, do I hate public speaking!). I went to two 2-hour visitations, two funerals, two burials, and two post-funeral luncheons. I had a brief conversation with an uncle the entire family hates (including me).

Meanwhile at my job, I left two manuscripts unread on my desk, two more I was waiting for came in, I need to find reviewers for three manuscripts, meet with art department on a book cover, and meet with HR to discuss how to mark the timesheet for the past two weeks (and oh boy, that could be drama, we'll see).

Right now, the only area of my life in which I seem to have any control is organizing the house. Today I emptied the fridge of bad food, mowed the lawn just ahead of Hanna coming through (and soaking the basement, thanks Hanna, you douche), cleaned the kitchen, did several loads of laundry, emptied my car, filled a few bags with clothes for donation, and went to the grocery store.

This afternoon I watched the first four episodes of the second season of Heroes on DVD. I didn't watch a single episode when it was on last season, and I know it was derided, but watching them in a row like this, I can see the deliberate pacing they were going for, and I can also see why viewers found it frustratingly slow. Watching several in a row is definitely the way to go.

I guess I will eventually get back into the swing of writing about goofy shit, but right now I just have death on my mind.