smacky and bucky

• Why does everything have to be so angst-filled in programs now? "You lost your legs, one arm, one ear, and one eye, but you're fixed and now you have super powers," and she responds, "How could you do this to me?" C'mon! You have super powers now! You would have felt better with no legs and one arm? I think my response would have been, "Super powers? Cool!"

• We knew those two women were going to fight, so it's okay to trim the b.s. chat a little and get to the fight. It was like a lesbian seduction there, which I was fine with, but if they're not going to be lovers, then get to the fight!

• The balding guy's "I'm your landlord" comment. She was feeling all confident after holding her own against blonde bionic woman. She should have grabbed his nuts with her bionic hand and said, "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

It's not what you think. Honest.

My newly married sister-in-law is flying in from Portland, Oregon this afternoon to empty a storage locker of items that belonged to her deceased mother, and sis-in-law will be staying at our place with me and the cats for a few days. It will be nice to eat dinner with another human, instead of just my two cats watching me eat alone. Geez, that sounds pathetic.

About to start The Accidental Time Machine by Joe Haldeman. It sounds kick-ass.

Sunday afternoon, 2pm. It's when I say goodbye to Laura and Lexi and drive three hours back to the city to begin another week of living apart. It sucks.

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I'm no poli-sci major, but what's wrong with these two stories?

(1) Iran closes border with northern Iraq: Iran closed major border crossings with northern Iraq on Monday to protest the U.S. detention of an Iranian official the military accused of weapons smuggling, a Kurdish official said. The move threatens the economy of Iraq's northern region — one of the country's few success stories.

(2) A Major Push for More U.N. Sanctions on Iran: On Friday at the State Department, the No. 3 U.S. diplomat, Nicholas Burns, convened a gathering of counterparts from all six countries involved in the Iran effort, both to take stock of current U.N. sanctions and, for his part, to lobby for a new round of stronger ones.


The American government wants tougher sanctions on Iran so they'll stop any nuclear program they may have, but trade between Iraq and Iran is necessary for Iraq's future.

So if one push succeeds, the other fails? I'm confused.

I set the alarm last night, since those shiftless cats are no longer to be trusted to perform one of the very few jobs with which they're entrusted.

Last night's dinner: two hot dogs, two beers. No, I wasn't at a baseball game. I was in my own house, eating alone. So I don't know where the guy who threw me the bag of peanuts came from (rim shot! cymbal!) . Thank you!

Got a copy of my brand new book sitting on my desk, and I reviewed and approved bluelines for another book this morning, so work continues to be kick-ass. Possibly the least stressful part of my day! Believe me, I know I'm lucky in that respect. I know.

Song hummed this morning: Band on the Run, by Wings. Been in more of a "Silly Love Songs" of Paul McCartney mood than the "Whatever Gets You Through the Night" of John Lennon mood recently.

Put that in a pipe of some sort and smoke it.

Oh, and did you know that beans are seeds? You can buy that nine-bean dry soup mix and plant all nine varieties of beans in the ground. Because beans are seeds. Why did that concept elude me for decades?

For years now, the cats have consistently woken me up around 6am, when I need to get up and get ready for work. It's when I feed them, so they're trained to make noise at 6am. That is, until recently, with Laura and the dog out of the house for extended periods of time. Now the cats don't seem to know what day it is. The dog being gone always means it's the weekend. As a result, I've woken up at 7 the last two days, with the cats still sleeping happily at the foot of the bed. If this keeps up, I'll actually have to figure out how to use the alarm clock, which I haven't needed since 2002.

We'll all be happy when things finally get back to normal. Last night I had leftover pizza and heated up a green been casserole. I must be a totally vitamin deprived bachelor, because the casserole was so good (with those french fried onions on top) that I had thirds. Yes, I know you don't care what I'm eating. In fact someone wrote a book saying that: No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog, which is a great title for what looks like a dumb book (blogging for dummies, in other words). I have no idea how I stumbled across that book, by the way. I think it was one of those "Amazon customers who purchased this product also purchased..." and that book popped up. I was probably browsing something completely unrelated, like an old Jackie Chan DVD.

Not exactly as exciting as driving drunk off a cliff, but it's something!

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I've seen enough horror movies and read enough zombie novels to know this can't be good:

Few points of the article (which you should go read. Link in title):

Residents complained of headaches and vomiting brought on by a "strange odor," local health department official Jorge Lopez told Peruvian radio RPP.

Seven policemen who went to check on the reports also became ill and had to be given oxygen before being hospitalized, Lopez said.

Rescue teams and experts were dispatched to the scene, where the meteorite left a 100-foot-wide (30-meter-wide) and 20-foot-deep (six-meter-deep) crater, said local official Marco Limache.

"Boiling water started coming out of the crater and particles of rock and cinders were found nearby. Residents are very concerned," he said.

Agence France Presse

* * * * * * * *

All I'm saying is, if one cell of foreign organic matter was on that rock and survived entering the atmosphere, the dead could begin walking the Earth.

So... I'm hanging out by myself this week. Mother-in-law's surgery on Friday was a success, and her daughter (my wife) will be down there the next few weeks. Good thing I have a job so I have a reason to bathe and shave.

Oh, the zombie book I just finished (Dead Sea, by Brian Keene) was very good. I recommend it, if you like that sort of thing. I've read good zombie books and awful zombie books, and this was one of the better ones.

I woke up this morning at 6:52 and exclaimed, "Aw, shit, I'm usually at work by now!" I started racing around for a few minutes until I reminded myself that my office has flex time and the start time I have is self-imposed. I could work 10-6 and that would be fine. That calmed me down enough that I could tie my shoes.

Sheesh. I knew this day was coming. L's mother is having another surgery, so we're back on the "don't know when I'll see you again" schedule of marriage.

Yesterday suddenly went from an "okay, nothing exciting" day to a crappy day. Wife called, lost her car keys in the grocery store. Couldn't find them. I brought her the extra key, and as I was walking back to my car, noticed the right rear tire was completely flat. I pumped it up (yep, I had a pump in the trunk of my car. I'm occasionally prepared!) and drove to the tire place. Punchline: I now have four new tires (I still had the original tires from when the car was new eight years ago, so I can't complain they didn't last.). But ouch.

While I was waiting for them to install the tires, wife came to meet me and we went to dinner. Four hours later, I couldn't keep dinner down, and it felt like someone kicked me in the abdomen. Feel better this morning, so that's something.

Hoping the rest of the week is better. I'll settle for ho-hum uneventful! I don't need any more of this kind of excitement.

I have discovered the music of Carla Bruni. She is French and Italian. Her first release, Quelqu'un m'a dit (which I guess is "Someone said to me" or "Somone told me." Gimme a break. I haven't spoken French in eight years!) is in French, and her newest release, No Promises, is in English. The clip below is from her first release. It's called "le plus beau du quartier" (which I would guess to mean "The best looking guy in the neighborhood.") It's jazzy and sung in French. Very sexy.

Hey, wow! My last post was number 600! How about that.

This past weekend: resort on the Chesapeake Bay, lots of seafood, going to the driving range (twice, baby!), reading the zombie book from previous entry, having a relaxing weekend with my sweetie.

On the way back from the coast we met wife's Maryland sister and husband (not to be confused with NYC sis, or newly married Portland, Oregon sis), for lunch in Annapolis. Hot day for walking around, but just happened to pass a small comic shop and picked up the last few issues of Heroes for Hire, which I find to be a fun series that doesn't take itself too seriously. Good looking women doing kung fu and fighting robots, ninjas, giant bugs, you name it. Toss in some second (or third)-string teammates like Shang-Chi (who had his own "Master of Kung Fu" comic series in the 1970s) and Black Cat, and you've got a potent mix of martial arts, superhero, blacksploitation, sci-fi, and comedy. Good stuff.

Ready for another week in the real world.

Bladerunner. Five DVD set out in December!

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Chesapeake Bay. Miles of awesomeness.

After trading in a number of unwanted items at the local used record store, I have been walking around with a large credit to the place. I stopped in yesterday after work and browsed a bit.

You may recall that last month I purchased Kissology Volume 2 (1978-1992), mainly to get "Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park." But I was also aware that certain stores were including bonus DVDs with the set, and I made sure I picked up the one with the bonus DVD of the July 8, 1979 concert at the Capital Centre in Largo, Maryland.

Volume 2 was fun enough that I found myself wanting volume 1. A little research uncovered that the first volume also contained bonus DVDs, varying depending on where the set was purchased. Again, I wanted the one with the local show at the Captial Centre, but at this point, that didn't seem likely, since only the initial run of the set came with the bonus DVD.

You know where I'm going with this yet? As I was browsing the DVDs at the store yesterday, I saw a used copy of Kissology Volume 1 (1974-1977) and picked it up. Inside, the set included the bonus disc of the December 20, 1977 concert at the Capital Centre. Awesome! $15 later (actually technically free, since I used store credit), I had both Cap Centre shows.

What's so great about the Cap Centre? I don't know, exactly. I have a few Grateful Dead shows from there as well. I guess I just like the fact that these shows took place a few miles from my house, only 20 or 30 years ago. And as you can read on Wikipedia, The arena was imploded on December 15, 2002 to make way for a shopping mall.

Thursday morning I did some quick math, figured out my remaining number of vacation days, and called Laura and suggested we take Friday off and have a four-day holiday weekend. She agreed it was a good idea, and Thursday afternoon we packed up and hit the road. We had a great weekend, very relaxing. Sister #2 and husband came down from NYC Thursday evening, arriving at river at exact same time as us, in fact. Used the tractor, went swimming, went on a boat ride, visited a steamboat museum, went to a farmers market.

Our dog passed (aced) two AKC classes Saturday morning and was certified a "good citizen" and a certified therapy dog. She gets a tag and is now allowed to visit people in hospitals. She's a very good dog.

We returned early yesterday afternoon to the soul-crushing city, where going to the grocery store for three items becomes a chore that makes you want to scream. Two ahead of you in line. They came together, but want to pay separately, even though moron #2 is only buying a $2 pint of ice cream. And wants to pay with a credit card. And doesn't know how to work the credit machine. We remembered that people suck, and retreated back to our house, where even there we can't escape, because our moronic neighbors decided it would be fun to plant a flowerbed on the edge of their property, directly in front of a large window in our living room. Time to draw the blinds permanently on that window. Geez, go back inside, assholes! What do we have to do, build a moat?!?

Sigh.

Welcome back.