smacky and bucky

So it's another year. 2014. I still feel tired a hell 24/7. I still have yet to sleep all the way through the night in years. Yet I'm still pretty happy, feeling pretty damn lucky, and pretty on top of things, more or less. Went back to work two days ago after two weeks off, and though I was dreading it, I'm handling things. The cold freeze is a pain, with our living room being 61 degrees when I woke up at 5 this morning. But I read an interesting list on a parenting blog, and it mentioned the coping skill of saying "At least..." As in, "yes, the living room was 61 degrees, but at least our pipes haven't burst, and we have a house to live in." In some way it sounds like you're making yourself feel better by comparing yourself to others less fortunate, but I think in this case it's more abstract. For example, tonight the 3-year-old had a huge screaming meltdown. But then he calmed down and had dinner and snuggled with me while I read him a few stories, then fell asleep.

It's all about seeing the silver lining. About taking a moment to appreciate things. Another example: over the holidays, I was trying to get pants on the same 3-year-old, and he was laughing and wiggling and kicking and generally trying the heck out of my patience. I was getting really annoyed, but I took a moment to take a breath and look at the moment itself: a happy, healthy kid is playing a game with me. My happy, healthy kid is playing a game with me. Yes, I want him dressed, but in the big scheme of things, in the tiny moment in time where this is happening, I have to pause and smile. And I did. I smiled and laughed along with him, which made his smile even broader, and we connected as two beings, as father and son.