Tuesday, January 17, 2006
A slack jaw, not much to say
Quoting Men at Work.
Flying. I don't care much for it. I love the concept, and it sure beats driving and boats for trips longer than 1,000 miles, but the average coach seat causes claustrophobic feelings in everyone, and the recycled air gives half the passengers sinus infections. Also, I am the poster boy for random searches. Kate thinks she gets singled out for "dark hair/dark eyes/olive complexion." Well, if that's true, I'm the other end of the spectrum. I'm the one they pull out of line so if an Arab complains about profiling, they can point to the white guy with blonde hair and blue eyes with his shoes off, his belt undone, and his arms streched out... getting patted down while they dig through his luggage, pawing his underpants (the ones in the bag, not the ones on his body, thankfully).
At my last job I flew about once a month, up to New York, or across the country. Pre 9/11, no problem. It was as easy as riding a bus. Post 9/11... They must have a secret mandate against me, as I get pulled EVERY TIME. Two months after 9/11 I was returning from a neuroscience conference in San Diego, and two of us got pulled aside for a random search. The other person? Erik Kandel, who had, two weeks earlier, picked up the NOBEL PRIZE FOR MEDICINE. He was a celebrity at the conference, and now they're rooting through his bag. Look at his picture. He looks like the cousin of Orville Redenbacher. In fact, let's compare:
Flying. I don't care much for it. I love the concept, and it sure beats driving and boats for trips longer than 1,000 miles, but the average coach seat causes claustrophobic feelings in everyone, and the recycled air gives half the passengers sinus infections. Also, I am the poster boy for random searches. Kate thinks she gets singled out for "dark hair/dark eyes/olive complexion." Well, if that's true, I'm the other end of the spectrum. I'm the one they pull out of line so if an Arab complains about profiling, they can point to the white guy with blonde hair and blue eyes with his shoes off, his belt undone, and his arms streched out... getting patted down while they dig through his luggage, pawing his underpants (the ones in the bag, not the ones on his body, thankfully).
At my last job I flew about once a month, up to New York, or across the country. Pre 9/11, no problem. It was as easy as riding a bus. Post 9/11... They must have a secret mandate against me, as I get pulled EVERY TIME. Two months after 9/11 I was returning from a neuroscience conference in San Diego, and two of us got pulled aside for a random search. The other person? Erik Kandel, who had, two weeks earlier, picked up the NOBEL PRIZE FOR MEDICINE. He was a celebrity at the conference, and now they're rooting through his bag. Look at his picture. He looks like the cousin of Orville Redenbacher. In fact, let's compare:
Kandel... Redenbacher
Could either of these men threaten you?
# posted by smacky @ 7:49 AM 
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I don't know... Orville Redenbacher could have some kind of super secret popcorn popper that causes an entire airplane to fill up with popcorn, causing delays that piss people off.
If Orville Redenbacher threatens you in ANY way.... RUN. Dont look back, dont ask for help, just RUN!
Cause he been dead for years and that must be his zombie threating you.
How he get so close and you no notice smell?
Cause he been dead for years and that must be his zombie threating you.
How he get so close and you no notice smell?
I'd like to say that the airport screeners were whispering to each other, "Holy schnikies! It's the synapses guy! This might be my only chance to get so close to a genius of such stature!" ... But I kind of doubt that's what was going through their heads.
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