Friday, September 30, 2005
Packing, cursing, cooking (and more cursing)
Eight more hours of work, then home, load up the car with stuff, the dog, and Lola's friend, then off to the river. I cleaned out my car yesterday afternoon, which mostly entailed removing a bunch of saws, pruning devices and extension cords from the trunk. We need space in the trunk for random crap, since there will be a dog in the backseat and a woman in the passenger seat. I drive a VW Beetle (silver), and the trunk isn't really mafia regulation (no dead bodies going in there any time soon... at least not intact bodies. Maybe that's why I kept the saws in there!)
To answer your question, Kate, my dog Lexi hates when I curse at traffic, as she thinks I'm yelling at her. So now I have to curse using a happy voice while smiling: "That guy sure is an asshole, huh Lexi? He must have no arms because he sure didn't use the fucking turn signal...." Lexi wags her tail happily, and I end up feeling better, because really, have you tried to curse while smiling? It's hard to maintain any level of rage.
Random piece of advice: If you're going to cook a hamburger, it's best to thaw it first. Frozen meat takes forever to cook and it's impossible to cook evenly. It ends up burnt on the outside and cold and pink (bordering on red) on the inside. Yuck.
Oooooooooh, when I get back on Sunday, it will be October. My birthday falls on Columbus Day weekend, one of the frivolous holidays the federal government (and we, by proxy) takes off. And next Wednesday I get my gold crown [eye roll...WTF am I doing getting a gold crown? I'm not a rapper, and it's certainly not a status symbol in the circles in which I travel (which sounds snobbish but isn't. I just mean a white editor working for a nonprofit doesn't usually meet people impressed by a gold tooth, especially one so far back in your mouth it can't be seen without unhinging your jaw)]. The insurance company should have a good laugh receiving a claim for a gold tooth. I imagine a bill will be arriving soon for this stupidity.
Finally, if an official county car double-parks with the hazard lights on (during rush hour) while the driver gets out to write a ticket for an expired parking meter, is that considered irony, or just county greed? I mean, double parking is an offense for which one can receive a ticket from the police, a ticket I expect would be double the ticket for the expired meter!
To answer your question, Kate, my dog Lexi hates when I curse at traffic, as she thinks I'm yelling at her. So now I have to curse using a happy voice while smiling: "That guy sure is an asshole, huh Lexi? He must have no arms because he sure didn't use the fucking turn signal...." Lexi wags her tail happily, and I end up feeling better, because really, have you tried to curse while smiling? It's hard to maintain any level of rage.
Random piece of advice: If you're going to cook a hamburger, it's best to thaw it first. Frozen meat takes forever to cook and it's impossible to cook evenly. It ends up burnt on the outside and cold and pink (bordering on red) on the inside. Yuck.
Oooooooooh, when I get back on Sunday, it will be October. My birthday falls on Columbus Day weekend, one of the frivolous holidays the federal government (and we, by proxy) takes off. And next Wednesday I get my gold crown [eye roll...WTF am I doing getting a gold crown? I'm not a rapper, and it's certainly not a status symbol in the circles in which I travel (which sounds snobbish but isn't. I just mean a white editor working for a nonprofit doesn't usually meet people impressed by a gold tooth, especially one so far back in your mouth it can't be seen without unhinging your jaw)]. The insurance company should have a good laugh receiving a claim for a gold tooth. I imagine a bill will be arriving soon for this stupidity.
Finally, if an official county car double-parks with the hazard lights on (during rush hour) while the driver gets out to write a ticket for an expired parking meter, is that considered irony, or just county greed? I mean, double parking is an offense for which one can receive a ticket from the police, a ticket I expect would be double the ticket for the expired meter!
# posted by smacky @ 7:06 AM 
